Lysandra and the Five Elves

By Rina Stewart

Once upon a time, in the new millennium, there was a lovely young woman named Lysandra. Lysandra was a college student who lived at home with her mother and stepfather, but she had a dream. Her dream was to become a professional pop singer. Her stepfather, however, refused to let her sing, saying, "There's no future in the music business." So Lysandra studied business and spent her free time practicing her singing. One day, she was taking a walk through the forest and heard music. This is the story of what she found and what happened after.

"La la la la la." A tenor.

"Lo lo lo." A bass.

"La la la la." A baritone.

"Ah ah ah ah ah." A soprano.

"Where's CJ?"

"Where do you think?"

"Aw, man. Will you wake his ass up?"

"It's your turn."

"Fine."

"Ahhhhhhhhh!" A falsetto.

"Good one, CJ."

"Little lower next time?"

"Don't kick me next time."

"Come on, guys. We need to practice."

Lysandra stepped into the edge of a clearing that was deep in the forest just outside of her town. She often took walks through it to clear her head after classes, but she had never gone this far before, and had never met anyone there. The clearing she found was about the size of a stage, with tall, leafy trees protecting it. In the middle of it stood five little elves, who were grumbling as they formed into a line. She rubbed her eyes, not sure of what she was seeing.

"Ready?" the tallest of the elves asked, smoothing down his sparkly baby blue bandanna.

"Ready," they chorused, and then slid into a perfect five-part harmony.

Lysandra stood there, transfixed, as the tiny men sang about. . .Independence Day? She furrowed her brow, but shrugged it off. The pop beat was infectious, and she soon found herself dancing along. It took a minute before she realized that the singing had stopped. She slowed her movements, blushing.

"Hi," she said sheepishly. They stared at her. "I, uh, liked your song," she tried again. This seemed to do the trick , as they almost tripped over themselves racing over.

"Did you. . ." "I wrote. . ." "Are you. . ." ". . .want that?" The words jumbled together as Lysandra watched them, amused and more than a little baffled by the turn of events. Finally, the pale and blonde elf gave a shrill whistle.

"Hold up, guys, you're confusing her." He turned to her with a big smile. "Hi, I'm Ecnal."

"He's an albino," the shortest one called out.

"I am not an albino," Ecnal protested. "You leprechaun," he mumbled, looking annoyed.

"Ignore him. I'm Patrick," the short one introduced himself, shaking Lysandra's hand enthusiastically.

"Nice to meet you," she said, noting that he did resemble a leprechaun.

"I'm Tony," the darkest haired one said with a thick Brooklyn accent, coming forward to smoothly take her hand and give it a kiss.

She smiled at him, but pulled her hand back as the tallest elf came forward and pushed the others out of his way. "Hey, baby, I'm Buck." He gave her an obviously practiced smile and pushed his bandanna back a little, letting a few well-placed light brown curls escape.

"Right. And you're. . ." She looked at the last elf, who had fluffy, golden brown waves framing his face.

He broke into a sweet smile and offered his hand. "I'm CJ. It's a."

Lysandra jumped back as CJ toppled over onto the ground and began to snore. The other elves groaned and looked at Ecnal.

"Pleasure to meet you," he said, nudging CJ with his foot.

"What?" she asked, confused.

"It's a pleasure to meet you. That's what CJ was saying," Ecnal explained, as the elf in question sat back up and nodded.

"Oh. Okay," Lysandra said, wondering if she had hit her head on something. That was the only explanation for meeting a group of singing elves, right? One of which seemed to have narcolepsy.

"So, what's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?" Buck asked, and Lysandra raised her eyebrows at him. A group of singing elves, one who had narcolepsy, and one who was frat boy, she mentally amended.

"What he's trying to say, in his subtle way, is how did you find us?" Ecnal asked. "We don't get a lot of visitors."

"Yeah, and who are you?" Patrick asked bluntly.

"I'm Lysandra," she said, looking around for and sitting down on a tree stump so she didn't feel like such a giant. "I was just taking a walk, and I heard you guys singing, so I stopped. You sounded good."

"Thanks," CJ said, beaming. "I wrote that song."

"We used to be pretty big up north," Patrick chimed in. "Shortstack. We branched off, though."

"Branched off?" Lysandra repeated, trying to recall a group called Shortstack. "I don't think I've heard of you."

"We used to work for the big guy," Tony told her. "Santa Claus," he clarified at her blank look. "Up north, though, everything is about that one day. There is so much more to sing about, ya know?"

"Like Independence Day?" Lysandra asked, beginning to feel like it was perfectly natural to be talking to former employees of the North Pole, which was a little worrying.

"Exactly," Buck smiled at her, sidling up next to her. "And May Day, and President's Day, and Lead Awareness Day. Or National Buy a Musical Instrument Day. There are so many holidays to celebrate. So we came down here to perfect our craft so we can honor them all."

"And see, there are five of us," CJ piped up. "Like a hand. So our harmonies are round. He's a bass," he pointed to Ecnal, "and he's a soprano," he pointed at Patrick, "and the rest of us are in the middle. But that's, yeah, that's how we are. A hand that works together."

Lysandra and the elves looked at each other.

"CJ?" Ecnal sighed.

"Yeah?"

"Go to sleep," the four elves chorused.

CJ shrugged. "Okay." He curled up in a ball and was asleep immediately.

Ecnal shook his head before turning to Lysandra, who was watching them with wide eyes. "So. Can you sing?"

"A little," she said. "I love to, but I can't take any lessons. I have too many classes."

"Well, CJ's out for awhile, and we need a fifth singer. I'm sure you're not a tenor, but we need to practice. Want to help out?" he asked, ignoring the shoving match Patrick had started with Buck.

Lysandra watched, fascinated, as they chased each other around CJ, who kept on snoring undisturbed. She dragged her glance over to Ecnal. "I'd like to, really, but I," she glanced at her watch, "really need to go now. Homework, you know."

"If you really wanted to sing, you would," Tony told her, stepping over CJ to stand next to Ecnal.

"I do want to sing," she told him, frowning.

"Then why aren't you?" Buck asked, stopping suddenly so that Patrick ran into him.

"I told you, I have classes," Lysandra told him, crossing her arms. "And homework, and an internship. I sing when I have some free time, just for fun."

"Are you any good?" Patrick asked, picking himself off of the ground.

"I'm pretty good," she admitted.

"Just pretty good?" he pressed.

"I need a coach to be better," she said.

"Then why don't you have one?" Tony asked, leaning forward.

"My stepfather says that there's no future in the music business," she replied, wondering how she could be feeling intimidated by four little elves.

"Do you want to be in the music business?" Ecnal asked.

"Yeah." She grinned. "I always wanted to be a pop star."

"She does have the look," Tony said.

"Blonde hair, blue eyes, very innocent looking, but still with a great body," Buck noted, taking a few steps towards her. "I'd say she was a shoo-in."

"I'm sitting right here, elf-boy," she glared at him, scooting away as Tony hit Buck in the back of the head.

"So why haven't you done anything?" Patrick asked.

She blinked at him. "I-I told you. I'm busy, and my. . ."

"So you're just gonna let someone else tell you what you can do?" Tony challenged her.

"No!" she exclaimed.

"Good," Ecnal said, satisfied. "Then let's sing."

And so Lysandra met the members of Shortstack. What she did not know was that the elves were there to help only those who had a dream they needed help pursuing. Only those people could hear their music. She began meeting them in their clearing almost every day to practice singing. Sometimes, she brought along homework and assignments for her business classes, which Ecnal found fascinating. When CJ was awake, they worked on writing songs together. Patrick and Tony rehearsed dance moves with her. She and Buck reached a truce, wherein he didn't hit on her and she didn't hit him. Things seemed to be going well, until one day. . .

Lysandra dropped down onto a stump in The Clearing, as she had begun to think of it, clutching a pile of papers and a few miscellaneous objects. The elves gathered around her, concerned at the tearstains marking her cheeks.

"What happened, Lys?" CJ asked, worried. He slid onto the stump next to her.

"My dad found the demo CD we made," she said, dully. "He was really upset."

"But these are gonna be classics," CJ protested. He pulled the CD out of her hand, causing a number of papers to follow suit. "I mean, you know, look. It has our odes to Sweetest Day, and Lost Sock Memorial Day."

"And Eat What You Want Day," Patrick added. "Didn't he listen to them?"

"He didn't have to listen to them. He didn't want me making music, and obviously I did. I completely betrayed his trust." Lysandra rubbed her forehead, looking at the ground.

"Why did you do it, then?" Ecnal asked.

"What?" She looked up at him sharply.

"You knew that he didn't want you singing. So why did you do it?" he asked again.

She frowned. "I love music. Business doesn't make me happy like singing does."

"So if you had to choose, you would choose music?" Tony asked.

"Yeah, I guess I would," she said, thinking it over. "I don't want to do business. Ecnal was more interested in my work than I was."

"So do you regret making the CD?" Patrick asked.

"No. I worked hard on it," Lysandra said. "We worked hard on it. I'm proud of those songs."

"You should be," Buck told her. "You put 110% into it. That's at least 50% more than you did into school."

"So what are you guys saying?" she asked.

"Well, really, you're doing the saying," Ecnal told her. "So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying. . .well, I guess I'm saying that I want to sing, not do business. And they're just going to have to accept that," she decided, smiling at the thought of not hiding her music. "I'll tell them tonight. It's probably going to start a fight. But I know that I can't take any more."

"That ain't no lie," Buck said, shaking his head.

"So do you want to open this?" Patrick asked, offering her an envelope.

She took it, gingerly. "Is it what I think it is?"

"If you think it's a response from the record company, then yeah," CJ grinned. "Open it!"

They all pushed closer into a circle as she tore open the envelope and pulled out the single sheet within. She read it over, and then again. "They liked it," she said slowly. "They liked the demo. They want to hear more. They want to sign me."

"That's great!" CJ said happily, as the other elves swarmed closer to congratulate her.

"Thanks, guys," she said finally. "But I need to pack, and tell my parents that the newest star is gonna be me." She set off down the path, calling back, "Bye bye!"

"Bye," CJ waved.

"That had to have been the easiest gig of our lives," Buck said, watching Lysandra walk away.

"Tell me about it, man," Patrick sighed. "We didn't even get to use magic. She did all the work. Where's the fun in that?"

"I, for one, feel," CJ tumbled off the stump, sound asleep. Three sets of eyes turned to focus on Ecnal in unison.

"Gypped! He feels gypped," Ecnal said, exasperated. "Six years, and you would think someone else could figure out what he's saying."

"I think it's a good thing," Tony spoke up. "She's gonna make it for real, ya know?"

"Exactly," Ecnal agreed. "Pretty soon, we're going to be reading her thank yous."

"Wonder if she'll mention us?" Buck asked. "No one else has yet."

They set off on the path towards their home, CJ slung over Tony's shoulder, still snoring.

Lysandra's parents were not happy about her decision to change her major to music performance and record a CD, but quickly changed their tune after the first one went double platinum and her annual income became quadruple that of theirs. The elves were thrilled to receive their complimentary copies, dedicated to Shortstack. All that was left was for them to live happily ever after. So they did.