"You look lost."

Rose jerked around, not expecting to hear a familiar voice in this place. Sarah Jane Smith stood in front of her, waiting expectantly. "Oh. Um, yeah, I guess I am, a bit," she said, straightening her shirt hem. "First day and all. I'm supposed to meet my supervisor. I got directions, but," she shrugged.

"Oh, you must be Rose Tyler," Sarah Jane said, striding forward and shaking Rose's hand. "Lovely to meet you. I'm Sarah Jane Smith, in PR. Everyone gets lost their first week, don't let it bother you. Welcome to Torchwood 4."

Rose blinked. "Wait. Four? I didn't know there were other Torchwoods."

"There isn't," Sarah Jane said. "There's only the one. But the first director insisted it be called that, and it's just never been changed.

"Oh," Rose said, nonplussed. "Right, then."

"Just one of the many interesting things about working here," Sarah Jane said. "Now, you're in Field, right?" At Rose's nod, she continued, "Shall I walk you to the office?"

"That'd be lovely, thanks," Rose said gratefully, and followed Sarah Jane through the maze-like corridors. "How long have you been working here?"

"Oh, about twenty years," Sarah Jane said. "It was quite small when I began, nothing like what it is now. It's grown around me, I suppose."

"How did you get started at Torchwood?" Rose asked.

"I asked a lot of questions," Sarah Jane said, turning to grin at Rose. "Much like you."

Rose blushed. "I'm sorry. It's just...I dunno. You look just like someone I met once. And I haven't had a first day of work in ages."

Sarah Jane laughed. "Don't apologize, I'm only teasing. I was a journalist, an investigative journalist, and kept running into them while on stories. Eventually they gave up and hired me.

"All right, now here you are. This is the Field Department," Sarah Jane said, stopping at a glass door. "Suzie's office is just inside to the right. You'll be fine from here."

"Thanks so much," Rose said. "It was really nice of you to go out of your way like this."

"Well, not so out of the way," Sarah Jane said. She pointed to the office directly across the hall. "That's me. But it was my pleasure, really. In fact, how about I pop in around lunch and show you how to get back out of here?"

"It's a date," Rose said, nodding. "Or a deal. Or a, well, whatever you want to call it." She laughed nervously. "I'll just be going in, then. Thanks again."

"Of course," Sarah Jane said. "I'll see you soon."

As Sarah Jane turned away, Rose pushed her door open and found herself in a sparsely decorated front office. She glanced to her right and sure enough, there was another tiny room. She knocked on the open door's frame. "Hello."

Suzie Costello looked up from the knife she was holding. "Rose! Wonderful, you found us."

"Oh, I had a bit of help," Rose said, walking in. "Sarah Jane, I think her name was."

"Good, good," Suzie said, and slid the knife under a stack of paper on her desk. "Let's get you some paperwork, then, and I'll give you the grand tour. You'll be spending a lot of time out, of course, but this is going to be your home base."

Rose followed Suzie around Torchwood for the next two hours, doing her best to keep up and ask what she hoped were good questions.

"One last thing," Suzie said, handing Rose a sheaf of paper. "We're working on this new artifact, a glove. It brings dead things to life, but only some can get it to work. Will you try it, please?"

The question sounded more like a statement to Rose. "All right," she said cautiously. "Is it...are you sure it's safe?"

"So far, yes," Suzie said. "I've been using it the most, and I'm perfectly fine." She led Rose into a chilly, locked room and closed the door behind them. She opened a drawer and pulled out a metal glove and a small jar filled with water. She drained the water into a sink, opened the jar and dumped out a goldfish, which she promptly smacked flat.

Rose gasped.

"Here," Suzie said, holding the glove out for Rose to slide her hand in. "Try and make a connection to the life of the fish."

Rose hesitantly slipped it on and felt dizzy. At Suzie's prompt, she reached towards the fish carcass, but felt nothing but nausea. Finally she ripped the glove off. "Um, nothing, I don't think," she said weakly.

"Not many people can," Suzie said, shrugging, but Rose could see her attention was now elsewhere. "It's all right. I'll get you some tea and a pen and you can get started with these."

***

Rose was still filling out the pile of paperwork when Sarah Jane walked in.

"Have you time for a lunch break now?" she asked.

"Oh, please, yes," Rose said, setting down her pen with a sigh. "So much paperwork to chase aliens, I had no idea."

Sarah Jane laughed. "I agree, it would be much simpler without." She led them out the door and down the hallway. This time, Rose remembered enough from her walk there and around with Suzie to recognize where they were going. A few minutes later and they were exiting onto the street.

"There are a few places quite near," Sarah Jane said, "and my favorite is down this street. Willing to try?"

"All right," Rose agreed, and they walked down the pavement.

"Just so you know," Sarah Jane said, "CCTV is everywhere in Torchwood. Too many surprise alien attacks. So unless you have your own office, imagine that everything is getting recorded."

"Suzie mentioned that," Rose said. "It'll take getting used to."

"Well, this is the park where we all come to be free of the cameras," Sarah Jane said, pointing across the street. "If you go back aways, in the southwest corner, there are these great big hedges. People sneak back there for illicit snogs and such." She grinned. "Not that I know of these things personally, of course."

"Oh, of course not," Rose said, finding herself smiling back.

"So, Rose Tyler, how did you come to work at Torchwood?" Sarah Jane asked, touching her arm to guide her into turning the corner.

"Oh, um," she fumbled. "Well, they asked me."

"And how did they find you to ask you?" Sarah Jane asked, amused.

"I was kind of involved with the Cyberman attack," Rose said. "I suppose they found me then. But they only tracked me down again a week or so ago."

"That must have been quite an ordeal for you," Sarah Jane said. "That was difficult even for us, with experience."

"Oh, yeah," Rose said. "Just a shop girl, me. Totally out of my league." She smiled. "You know, I have wondered, since you said before, what kind of PR a secret organization can have."

"Fantastic question, Rose," Sarah Jane said and Rose felt her smile waver. "This is our stop, though, so let's get comfortable first."

They entered the bistro, gave their orders and found seats near the window. "As to your question," Sarah Jane began, "it's rather different for us. Rather than using my department to inform the public, we use it to keep things out of the public. Some of my staff works with newspapers to modify or fabricate stories as needed and we work with other divisions on dealing with people who have alien run-ins. It's all quite interesting, usually. We get to be very creative."

"I suppose," Rose said. "It's to protect everyone, yeah? The secrecy?"

"I like to look at it that way, too," Sarah Jane said. "It's certainly not what I envisioned working on when I was younger, but I enjoy it, for the most part."

"Do you miss investigating?" Rose asked, as their plates were delivered.

"A bit," Sarah Jane said. "I do keep my hand in, though. I like to pay attention to everything going on in the city, in case it is something in our jurisdiction."

Lunch passed quickly, and Rose found herself warming to Sarah Jane, independent of the woman she had known in her universe. She was surprised when Sarah refused to let her pay her own share - "I asked you, therefore I pay. It can be your turn next time." - but she agreed.

***

When she got home that night, her mum was waiting by the door. "Well, how was it?" she asked straight off.

"It was fine," Rose shrugged. "It was work."

"Tell me about your boss. Did you meet anyone yet?" Jackie asked, following Rose down the hall to the kitchen. "Do they already have you out in danger?"

"My boss is all right," Rose said, snagging a bag of crisps. "She's a bit, well, intense, I suppose. Today was a load of paperwork, very boring, I promise. I did have lunch with a woman in the office over. Sarah Jane," she said.

"Why, sweetheart," Jackie said, pleased. "I think that's the first smile I've seen on you since we got here. I'm so glad you've found yourself a friend. Maybe that will make things easier for you."

They heard a door slam before Rose could answer.

"Oh, and there's your father. Put those crisps down, we're eating in just a mo," Jackie called as she hurried to greet Pete.

Rose sighed and stuffed one last crisp in her mouth. Her mother was on a domestic kick ever since the wedding and it was starting to drive her mad. She was shoving the bag away when her mobile began vibrating. The screen read "TORCHWOOD 999" and Rose felt her old adrenaline kick return. She dashed down the hallway, passing Jackie and Pete.

"Got called into work," she called, grabbing her jacket. "Don't wait up."

She ignored her mother's protests, leaving Pete to soothe her, and headed out.

When she got to the office, there were about five people waiting. Suzie stood up as she came in.

"Everyone, this is Rose Tyler. Rose, you're going to work with Richard and Gemma. Everything you need is in the folder. Everyone else, my contact with the police informs me there's been a murder and we have a go for trying the glove. Let's go." She clapped her hands and led her group out.

Rose looked at Richard and Gemma, eyebrows raised. "I'm guessing we did not get the good assignment."

She was right. She struggled home late that night, covered in goo, and staggered back out to work early the next morning. She met up with Sarah Jane on the way in.

"Rough night?" Sarah Jane asked.

"Got called in," Rose said. "I'm used to that, the all hours bit. I'm not used to having to wake up early the morning after."

Sarah Jane laughed. "It does tend to happen in your division. If only aliens worked on our timetable."

"Yes," Rose groaned. "That would be best. It wasn't like this before."

"The shops were quite different, I'm sure," Sarah Jane said.

"Oh, right," Rose said quickly. "Yes, they were." They arrived in their hallway. "I didn't bring a lunch today. Would you like to go out again? Or are you busy?"

"No, I'd like that very much," Sarah Jane said. "I'll pop in, same time."

The morning passed slowly in the minutia of paperwork on the previous night's goo. Rose couldn't help the grin that came to her face when she saw Sarah Jane walk in. "You're a goddess, now please, let's go." She grabbed her bag, which had been waiting next to her for the last twenty minutes. She felt like twirling down the hallway. "Freedom! Freedom from paper for one lovely hour!"

Sarah Jane laughed. "You have found the downside to this job," she said. "There's a lot of quiet, and then a lot of activity. You'll see. It's never boring for long, I promise."

"I am holding you to that," Rose said. "Where shall we eat today?"

Sarah Jane directed them down another street to another eatery, this one specializing in pasta.

"How is it all going, paperwork not-withstanding?" Sarah Jane asked.

Rose considered, as she scooped up some pasta. "It's quiet so far. Last night was messy."

"I heard about that," Sarah Jane said. "Most people wouldn't have known how to kill one of those."

Rose shrugged. "It just seemed right."

"And Suzie? Has she shown you her pet project?" Sarah Jane asked.

"What, the glove?" Rose asked. "Yeah, she had me try it."

"She did?" Sarah Jane asked. "What did you think?"

"Well, I dunno," Rose said. "I couldn't work it. But I don't think I wanted to, either. It's not right to bring something dead to life. I've seen - it just does bad things. Maybe it's different with the glove, but I'm glad I'm not part of it."

"Good girl," Sarah Jane said, and Rose was surprised at how pleased she was with the praise. "I agree, it's not right. But Suzie - well, she has approval. I don't think it will work, though, honestly, for the reasons you said."

"Are you keeping at eye on it?" Rose asked.

"I am, a bit," Sarah Jane said. "Don't worry."

Rose felt her concerns lighten at that. If she could trust anyone here, she hoped, it was Sarah Jane.

***

The next two months passed quicker than Rose had expected. Sarah Jane was right, the quiet periods didn't last long in between the active parts. She loved being back in the thick of things, saving the planet, even if it was only one planet. Before long, she and Sarah Jane had lunch every day that Rose wasn't in the field, and then usually dinner on those days. She felt more comfortable with Sarah Jane than with anyone from her old life. She wasn't nearly as lonely, she didn't cry herself to sleep nearly as often. And then the dreams started.

She wanted to tell Sarah Jane, who would understand, of course she would, but in the end, she only told her mum, dad (he was like her dad now, she felt) and Mickey. As much as she loved them, they still would not be enough to keep her tied to this world. Just in case. She didn't have time to think about why Sarah Jane was different.

Pete fretted - "It's a long trip, and the baby," he said. "The baby?" Rose exclaimed, but couldn't focus on that right now, she needed to go - and Jackie worried about her, but she called work and they went. And there he was.

***

She came home Friday evening to a dozen worried e-mails and messages from Sarah Jane. Rose considered her options - cry, as she had on the way home, or not.

She picked up several bottles of wine on her way to Sarah Jane's flat.

"I just got back from Norway," Rose said, holding out the bags of wine. "And my mum is pregnant. Let's drink."

Sarah Jane paused. "Which of those would you like to talk about first?"

"Neither," Rose said. "I want to drink." She went into the kitchen, familiar from a few dinners, and opened the first bottle. She came out with two glasses, one of which she passed on. "So, what's on the telly?"

They drank wine in silence, Rose far more than Sarah Jane. After the second bottle, Rose began watching Sarah Jane instead of the telly. What made Sarah Jane work with aliens in both worlds? Had she always had such lovely eyes? She was really quite pretty. Was her Sarah Jane like his? Could there be a Doctor here, like hers? Had Sarah Jane known a Doctor? She had always wondered, but didn't know if she could bear either answer either way.

"Rose, please, tell me what's going on," Sarah Jane said, breaking the quiet. "You can tell me anything, I promise."

Rose took another long drink of her wine and then a deep breath. If she could trust anyone, it was Sarah Jane. "Did you know the Doctor?" she asked, her voice slurring just a bit. Her stomach clenched as she waited for Sarah Jane's response.

"The Doctor?" Sarah Jane asked. She looked taken aback at Rose's question. "I don't know if I knew the Doctor. I've known doctors, and I've even dated a doctor, but I don't think she was all that special."

"Oh," Rose said, softly, slumping against the sofa cushion, feeling the loss all over again. "I did. I knew the Doctor. I loved the Doctor and he's gone. I died."

"Surely you didn't really die," Sarah Jane said. "You're right here. Unless...you mean in the other world?"

Rose jerked upright so fast her wine spilled a bit. "What? What do you mean, other world?" She tried to laugh, unconvincingly. "Don't be stupid." She poured some more wine into her glass to avoid Sarah Jane's gaze.

"I'm not stupid," Sarah Jane said, "And neither are you. You told me about the Cybermen time and I found your records. You came with a man called The Doctor then, and now you're alone."

Rose sighed. "Too smart, you are," she said. She was glad her secret was out, but she'd have liked to be the one to share it. She clenched her fist, and then made a face. "I'm sticky." She sucked on her damp fingers.

Sarah Jane passed over a serviette. "Tell me about it. Did you know me in this other world? Did I know the Doctor there?"

"You were like me," Rose said, meeting Sarah Jane's eyes, and it came pouring out. "You loved him, too, so much, but he left you, like he leaves everyone. You told me that you would be waiting for me when it happened to me. But I died, and came here, and I lost you, too. But then you found me." She smiled and reached for Sarah Jane's hand. "I didn't lose you, really. My Sarah Jane, he called you. You're my Sarah Jane."

"That wasn't me," Sarah Jane said gently. "I'm not her. You know that."

"No, no," Rose insisted. "I know. Because you're not his, you're mine, now. Only mine."

"All right," Sarah Jane gave in, smiling. "I'm yours."

"You are! You're so like him. You're the closest thing to him in this world," Rose said. "You make me miss him less." She finished the last sips of wine in the glass. "You make it okay that he's really gone." The knot that had been in her stomach since Norway and before faded.

"Well, thank you," Sarah Jane said, surprised. "I'm pleased to hear that."

Rose fumbled as she tried to place the glass on the coffee table. She pulled herself to her knees and looked Sarah Jane straight in the eye. "I," she paused. "I think I'm very tired now." She sank back down onto the sofa and closed her eyes.

***

When she opened them again, she was not on the sofa. She groaned as she turned over and was faced with light.

"You do not take your alcohol well," Sarah Jane commented.

"No," Rose said thickly. "Where'm I?"

"My bedroom," Sarah Jane said. "I was afraid to leave you out there, lest you choke in your sleep."

"How'd I get in here?" Rose covered her eyes with her fists.

"A bit of walking, a bit of dragging," Sarah Jane said, too cheerfully. "There's water and paracemetol on the stand next to you."

"Cheers," Rose said, swallowing a few tablets and noticing her jeans and trainers on the nearby chair. "So sorry. So very sorry."

"It's all right, really. There are worse ways to wake up than with a pretty girl next to you in bed," Sarah Jane grinned.

Rose groaned. "Sure, but I hope you prefer us conscious."

"Generally, yes," Sarah Jane allowed. "It's true."

Rose lurched herself up into a sitting position, half afraid to try and remember all that she'd said the night before. Sarah Jane was still in pyjamas, but her glasses were on and she looked busy for eight in the morning. "What're you working on?"

"There have been these murders around the city," Sarah Jane said. "Something's just not on with them."

Rose looked at the spread of papers around Sarah Jane. "Hang on. These are the ones that Suzie's team have been using the glove on, yeah?"

"Mm, exactly," Sarah Jane said, skimming through a document.

"I don't understand," Rose said, picking up the nearest pile. "London has murders, doesn't it?"

"Of course," Sarah Jane said. "But these don't feel right. They're almost too predictably random."

"Wait, I know this knife," Rose said suddenly. She stared at the drawing of the fancy weapon.

"Let's see," Sarah Jane said. She leaned over. "This one? Are you sure?"

"Yes," Rose said. She frowned. "I know I have."

"Do you remember where?" Sarah Jane asked. "It was used in two of the deaths. It would be enormously helpful information to have."

"Ugh," Rose groaned. She dropped the papers onto her lap and dug her fingers into her throbbing forehead. "Oh, this headache. I'll keep thinking."

"All right," Sarah Jane said. "You think. I'm going to shower and dress. I have a quick appointment this morning."

"Oh," Rose said. "Um, I should-"

"No, you're welcome to stay," Sarah Jane cut in, gathering her papers into a single pile. "Sleep, eat, I will be back soon. It's fine, really."

Rose shimmied down the pillows in relief. "Thanks so much," she said, already feeling her eyes growing heavy. She dozed, listening to Sarah Jane bustle around and get ready. She thought she heard a phone ring, but wasn't sure if it was a dream. She also thought she felt Sarah Jane tuck the covers around her shoulders and press a kiss to her forehead, but before she could wonder about it, she was asleep.

She woke up two hours later to a quiet flat and a quieter head. She slipped out of bed and padded into the kitchen with her water glass. As she refilled it from the tap, she read the note Sarah Jane had posted on the fridge.

Rose -
Will be home later than planned. Suzie rang and asked me to meet her in that park next to the offices. She said half ten, but she's always late. I'll ring when we're done to see if you want me to bring home any nibbles.
Sarah Jane

Rose frowned and read it again. A flash of that knife drawing appeared in her head and she dropped the glass into the sink.

Bloody hell.

She slammed the water off and dashed back into the living room for her mobile and then into the bedroom for her jeans and shoes. She tried to dial and dress at once, getting everything tangled into a hopeless muddle. She gave up on her jeans and phoned Sarah Jane's mobile. "I've remembered, it's Suzie's knife, don't meet her, I'm on my way," she said breathlessly. She finished getting dressed and ran out the door.

***

She drove as quickly as she could in Saturday morning traffic to the Torchwood offices. She finally pulled in at a quarter to eleven and hoped that Suzie was late. She headed straight for the secluded spot Sarah Jane had told her about, the snogging spot. As she got closer, she heard women's voices and sped up. She finally got to a large hedge that blocked her from sight and peered around it. Suzie was holding the knife and earnestly explaining to Sarah Jane why she had done nothing wrong.

"Suzie, if you've done nothing wrong, then we can tell people," Sarah Jane said. "We can tell Jamie and find other ways to practice with the glove, too."

"No," Suzie said, her voice shaking. "They wouldn't understand. You don't understand. We can't tell anyone, not until it's working properly. If you don't understand that, well," she rustled in her bag and pulled out a gun.

Rose gasped as Sarah Jane took a step backward. Rose dug for her mobile, but couldn't tear her eyes from the scene in front of her.

"Suzie, please," Sarah Jane said. "Let's talk about this, not do anything hasty."

"I would do anything for this job," Suzie said. "I really would. I'm sorry." She leveled the gun towards Sarah Jane.

"No!" Rose screamed and launched herself at her boss, her mobile forgotten. They collided as the gun went off, and Rose landed sprawled on top of her. Sarah Jane fell with a thud to their right.

Suzie stared at her, wild eyed. "Rose! Why did you do that? She was going to tell people what I did, and they wouldn't understand. I was doing it for the good of humanity, Rose. It's good work."

Rose gaped at her. "You were killing people! That's what you've been doing, yeah? And you wanted to kill Sarah Jane. I couldn't let you do it."

Sirens started blaring in the background, getting louder, and Suzie turned paler. "Did you...are they...oh, how could you?"

All of a sudden, Rose saw the gun out of the corner of her eye. She shrieked and instinctively threw herself back, covering her head as she went. The blast of the gunshot made her whimper and it took her a long moment to realize that she had not been hit. She lowered her shaking arms and immediately wanted to heave. Suzie lie in front of her, eyes staring blankly, hole in her head, blood flowing and pooling in the grass under her, starting to spread towards Sarah Jane's prone body. The sight of that spurred her into action and she flew to her friend's side.

"Sarah Jane? Sarah Jane, please answer me," Rose said frantically, running her hands over Sarah Jane's body, looking for blood and broken bones, a reason for her stillness. "No, please, don't leave me, not now. You can't leave me. Sarah Jane!" She wiped angrily at the tears that started to blur her vision.

"'m here," Sarah Jane said groggily. "Suzie?"

"She died," Rose said, wide-eyed in shock and relief. "She shot herself, right there. Are you all right? You're not shot?"

"I-I think so," Sarah Jane said, rubbing her head. "I mean, I'm fine, not shot. I was trying to fall to get out of the way and I think I hit my head when I landed."

Rose gently slid her hand under Sarah Jane's head. "No blood," she said. "Must just have been a thump."

Sarah Jane reached for her hand as she pulled back. "I'm glad you woke in time to read my note."

"It was pretty detailed," Rose said, squeezing her hand.

"I've been suspecting her for months," Sarah Jane admitted. "I thought it safest. I didn't think she'd bring a gun to a morning meeting, though."

"Next time you decide to meet with a suspected murderer, please wake me up first," Rose said. "That's a new rule, hear me?"

"I can abide by that," Sarah Jane said. "Thank you for showing up."

"I tried to phone you," Rose said. "I remembered her knife but you didn't answer. I was so worried about you. Honestly, what were you thinking?"

"I had a plan," Sarah Jane said defensively. "I just was not expecting that gun, is all." She tried to shake her head and groaned. "Oh, help me up, please."

Rose helped her into a sitting position and Sarah Jane looked at Suzie. "Oh, my," she sighed. "What happened?"

"I think she thought I rang 999," Rose said. "I should have done, I was about to, but then she tried to shoot you and I had to stop her." She felt herself getting panicky again until Sarah Jane stroked her arm.

"All right. You did right, Rose. But first, we phone the director, let him clean this up. And then, I think I need to see someone about my head," Sarah Jane said, closing her eyes.

"Eyes open," Rose said sternly. She knew that much.

Sarah Jane obliged with a tired looking smile. "Yes'm," she said. "Where's my mobile?"

They waited just long enough for Sarah Jane to debrief the director before heading to the hospital. Rose was charged with keeping Sarah Jane awake until the danger of concussion was past. She rang her mum to let her know and they drove back to Sarah Jane's.

"So," Sarah Jane said, once they were settled in with tea. "Norway?"

Rose sighed. "I said goodbye to him and my old life."

"Your mum is pregnant?"

"That's going to be weird for a long time," Rose said.

"Rose, I am going to be blunt now. I didn't think you were going to ask me about a man last night," Sarah Jane said. "Have you noticed I've been trying to send you signals? That I'm really quite interested in you? Romantically, I mean."

"I think I have," Rose said, nodding.

"And did you notice that you've generally returned them?" Sarah Jane asked.

"I think I have done, yeah," Rose said. "A bit, maybe." It wasn't so odd now to admit. Not after contemplating a life here without her.

"All right, then. The big question. Am I your surrogate for the Doctor?" Sarah Jane asked.

"Not anymore," Rose said honestly. "Was I just a way to learn more about Suzie?"

"Not after the second lunch," Sarah Jane admitted. "I wasn't sure you knew that."

"So where does this leave us?" Rose asked.

Sarah Jane looked surprised. "Well, I hope that leaves us in a place where we can, well, act on our feelings. Do we really need to spell this part out?"

"No, I don't suppose we do," Rose said, smiling. "I just...it's all right if I sit a little closer?"

"I encourage it," Sarah Jane said dryly. "Really, Rose."

"This is new," Rose protested, laughing, as she moved. "Actually admitting that you care for someone before making a move. This is novel. I'm used to just jumping in, so to speak, letting words come later. Much later."

"I encourage that, too," Sarah Jane said, with a nod.

"Oh, well, fine then," Rose said and leaned over for the kiss.

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