Victor Comstock woke up gay. Even though the world was at war and Betty Roberts had decided to string him along once again, he hopped out of bed with a bounce in his step and a song in his heart. He could feel the song flowing out of his heart and into his mouth, and he quite loudly began singing show tunes. He sang in the shower, hummed as he dressed, and yodeled a la Eugenia Bremer as he combed his hair. He nodded smartly in the mirror when he finished and headed off to work, spreading his gayness as he waved gaily to everyone he met.

When he got to radio station WENN, he blew a kiss to Gertie, who was sitting dourly behind the receptionist desk. "Miss Reece, you are looking as lovely as ever!" he complimented her, causing the older redhead to preen.

"Why, thank you, Mr. Comstock!" she said, beaming. "You're looking quite chipper today."

"No, no, Gertie!" he corrected her. "I'm quite gay today!" With a bow of his head, he continued on his way, leaving Gertie to ponder the wisdom of trying to wake up gay herself. She decided to try it the very next day.

His next stop was the Green Room, where his plan to continue passing along his gayness came to a halt. There sat Miss Betty Roberts, moping at the table. "Well, hello there, Betty!" he boomed cheerily. "How are you this lovely morning?"

"Oh, Victor," she said sadly. "I can't decide who I want, you or Scott. I just don't know what to do," she sighed deeply.

"Betty, Betty, Betty, you have to put on a happy face!" he encouraged her.

She sighed again. "How can I put on a happy face? Sure, I've got you and Scott both pining after me, but what about Jeff? Mr. Foley? Or Mackie or Mr. Eldridge? I can't be happy until every man loves me, so then I can make everyone miserable by stringing them along forever. That's what I do."

Victor eyed her curiously, but shrugged it off. He saw the light in Scott Sherwood's office go on through the window, and his eyes lit up. He left Betty sitting there, still gloomy, and headed next door. Scott looked up from behind his desk, and Victor realized that Scott was quite the handsome man.

"Scott! Just the man I wanted to see," Victor beamed.

"Why, Victor!" Scott said, grinning roguishly. "If my eyes aren't deceiving me, I'd say that you woke up gay this morning."

"I have indeed, Scott!" Victor said joyously. "And I have never felt more alive. Being gay has changed my whole outlook on life. I have turned my frown upside down! Happy days are here for good!"

"I'm glad to hear that, Vic," Scott told him gaily. "Welcome to the club!" He stood to give him a welcoming and suitably gay hug when Betty wandered in.

"Scott and Victor, I have made my decision," she said importantly. "I choose -"

"Betty, Betty, Betty," Scott interrupted her. "You missed the trolley on that one. We've decided for you - you don't get either of us." He looked at Victor, who was still smiling gaily. "Right, Vic?"

"Right, Scotty!" he chuckled, happily.

"Right. So now if you'll excuse us, I'd like to show Vic the welcome ritual for people who wake up gay." He pushed her out the door and closed it firmly.

"Well done, Mr. Sherwood!" Victor said approvingly. "I've wanted to do that for years now."

"Some people just don't get it, Vic," Scott said, shaking his head. "There may come a time when she wakes up gay, but I doubt it. Some people are born to be gay, and she's not one of them. Perhaps one day she'll realize what's she's missing."

"There may be hope for her yet," Victor nodded. "But in the meantime, I do believe you said something about a nice welcome. . ."

And they lived gaily ever after.

**

Notes: For more Wake Up Gay stories, head to Wake Up Gay.

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