Wandering Aimlessly

I just found out my cat has cancer. He had tests done a little over a month ago, and they came back negative. He's been limping the entire time, so my parents took him to a specialist to have more precise tests, and those came back positive for osteosarcoma in his leg.

He doesn't even live with me anymore, but he's my baby. I was the one who begged and begged for a cat from the time I was four or five until I was seven, and my parents finally gave in. I was the one who picked him out at the shelter, I was the one who named him, I was the one who refused to take him back when the vet said he had a heart defect and wouldn't live longer than a year or two. He slept at the foot of my bed for most of his 16 years, even when I was away at school. He was my cat, even when I wasn't there.

My dad just called to tell me the news, and to tell me to think about what to do. The vet recommends amputation, says Specks is otherwise very strong and thinks he'd do just fine with three legs. It's his back leg, though. I keep thinking of all the things he needs that leg for, like scratching his ear, or jumping up onto the couch, or whatever. I'm trying to decide what his quality of life will be without that leg. Is that the better option? Or would he have a lot of good years left without that leg that we'd be taking away by putting him to sleep?

Right now, the vet thinks he's in pain. I don't want my baby to be hurting, so we have to do something. It just breaks my heart! People will say he's "just a cat," but he's a member of my family, and he's been there for over 2/3 of my life. God. I wish I could be there.