What's Real

"Joey and Kelly, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes sex, then comes a baby, then comes the lies and a very short marriage!" Chris bounced around the bus, singing loudly and pointedly ignoring Joey.

"Is there any way to shut him up?" Joey asked, rubbing his forehead. Even though Chris was now in the back area, they could still hear him clearly.

JC didn't look up from his book. "He's mad. So he's going to annoy you."

"Yes, but for how long?" Joey complained. "It's been a week already, and this is nonstop. I told him I was sorry. I told all of you guys I was sorry. Not even Lance is still mad."

"Joey, you almost killed him," JC said sharply, lowering his book.

Joey was taken aback by the intensity radiating from JC. "What? I don't- I mean," he stumbled over his words.

JC sighed. "Don't play dumb. You're not stupid, no matter what your actions show. Chris loved you, and he thought you loved him. You never thought to mention to your best friend, the man you were sleeping with, that you were married? What the fuck were you thinking?" he asked, his voice raising.

Joey cringed. "I- I don't know," he said. "I mean, I loved Kelly. But the marriage was never for real, I swear it. It was just for Brianna, so when she was older, she'd know her parents were married for at least a little while. It wasn't supposed to be forever. It shouldn't have lasted this long. We just didn't want to get our parents' hopes up, so we didn't tell anyone. And then there was no time to undo it. It was just for the baby," he said, spreading his hands helplessly. "Besides, it's not like Chris and I could get married anyway," he added, and realized it was the wrong thing to say when JC's eyes, which had been getting more sympathetic, hardened again.

"Lance is still mad, Joey," JC said, worrying the corner of his book. "Justin and I are still mad. We're your best friends - getting married, for whatever reason, is something you tell us. I don't understand why you don't understand that. Eighteen months, Joey!" he said, an angry edge underscoring his words.

Joey winced.

"But we'll get over it," JC continued. "Eventually. If you give us time, things will get better. But Chris." He shook his head. "I think you broke him. Can't you see it? I've never seen him that devastated, even after Dani. It all came so out of nowhere. Man, Joe, he was crying. And that was before the alcohol. I can't remember the last time I saw him cry."

Joey felt sick to his stomach. "Me, neither. Not even when I told him about Brianna in the first place." He squeezed his arms tightly. "Man, I really fucked up."

JC gave him a look of great pity.

"I was just trying to think of Brianna," he said softly. "Aren't I supposed to put her first?"

"Of course you are," JC said, not unsympathetically. "But not at the expense of everyone else. We, Chris doesn’t just not count because of her. There's a balance."

"I know. Maybe I am just stupid," Joey sighed.

JC didn't respond.

"I do love him, Jayce. I hate that he's hurting and mad at me, and I hate that I gave him such a spectacularly big reason to be mad and hurt. But fuck, man, I'm divorcing Kelly for him. If I married her for Bree, I'm divorcing her for Chris. He just wasn't supposed to find out about this, especially not by finding the damn papers." He scrubbed his hand through his hair as JC folded his arms. "Making excuses is probably not going to work in my favor here, huh?"

JC shook his head, but Joey noticed that his eyes weren't as cold any more. It gave him hope.

"Okay. If I broke him, there's only one thing I can do." Joey stood and headed for the bunk area, where he could hear Chris singing about red roses, blue violets, and his real opinion on Joey's dick.

"Wait, what are you going to do?" JC asked, worried.

"I'm going to fix him," Joey said. "No matter how long it takes. Or how many annoying rhymes he comes up with. Because even if he never forgives me as his boyfriend, I need him as my friend, JC. I need him," he said, his voice breaking. He cleared his throat. "So wish me luck, Jayce. Because I think I'm going to need it." He waited, patiently, knowing that he couldn't do this without support.

Finally, JC smiled at him. "Go for it. Good luck."

Joey beamed back. "Thanks, man." He turned and headed towards the lion's den.

index // feedback // rina main