Recast

"What I want to know is when my life turned into Saturday nights at home with the Food Network," Joey said, taking a long pull from his beer. He was stretched out on the couch, baby monitor next to his chest.

JC tilted his head back to look at him from his spot on the floor, leaning against the couch. "Probably about the time Bri and I came into the picture," he said cheerfully. "Don't you like the Food Network?"

"I love the Food Network. Probably too much," he said, grinning.

JC quirked an eyebrow. "Too much? Jerking off to Jamie Oliver behind my back?"

Joey laughed. "Not that much. Although. . .." he trailed off teasingly. He laughed again when JC smacked his leg. "No, it's just that it's constantly on my brain."

"The recipes?" JC asked, confused.

"No, the chefs," Joey explained. JC smirked. "Not like that! Damn, man, you always have sex on the brain."

JC giggled. "You love it."

"Well, obviously," Joey nodded. "But no, I mean," he hesitated. "This sounds stupid."

"Joe, man. This is me. I want to thank people. I can't throw stones," JC grinned.

"Yeah, okay," Joey said. "True. Okay. You know how when you spend too much time with something, you can start to relate it to your life?"

"Like how Justin was convinced our futures were being predicted by Buffy the Vampire Slayer?" JC asked.

"Yeah, kinda," Joey said. "Like, see, I think of Justin and Chris as the Iron Chefs of the group. Japanese and Chinese. They're always in a pair, you know? And you know they have to be up to some kinky shit."

JC turned around and leaned his chin into the cushions. "I can see that. What about Lance?"

"Lance was harder. But Jamie Oliver works."

"Both are blonde," JC said.

"Yeah. And there are times when you have no idea what they're going on about. Plus they're both always trying to reinvent themselves. But they're still damn good at what they do."

"And again with the kinkiness," JC said. "Lance and his handcuffs. I bet Jamie has some, too."

"I agree," Joey said, smoothing JC's unruly curls back.

"So. Iron Chefs and Jamie Oliver. What does that leave me?" JC asked.

"This was the easiest one for me. You're Alton Brown," Joey said proudly.

"Why Alton?" JC asked. "Let's ignore that my first thought was to ask who that was. No one knows him."

"Right, that's part of it. You're like, this secret treasure," Joey said earnestly.

"Right. How many beers have you had?" JC asked, his smile taking the sting out of his words.

"Just a couple," Joey said. "But I mean it. Like, how many guys have you dated? And none of them could see how cool you are. All they saw was this guy who was a bit off, little crazy, kind of unusual. Not the typical format, you know? But you're so creative, and you're so passionate, and you pay attention to all these little details that make the most common things seem so fun and cool and interesting. And yeah, you get overlooked, but that just makes you even more special." Joey shrugged. "So, you're Alton. The most interesting one of all."

"That's really sweet," JC said softly. His eyes held on to Joey's intensely.

"Okay, maybe it's been more than a few beers," Joey said with a grin, trying to lighten the mood.

"No, it hasn't," JC said firmly. "Thank you. Now who are you?"

"Me?" Joey asked, surprised. "I don't think I have one for me."

"Can I offer a suggestion?" JC asked.

"Sure," Joey said.

JC stood and straddled Joey in one fluid move. Joey shifted so he was on his back, his hands coming up to rest on JC's hips.

"Okay. I think you're Emeril," JC said.

Joey raised his eyebrow. "Total opposite of Alton."

"Right. But he's the most well known for a reason. He's very deserving of that. Some people, the ones who matter, even say he's the best." JC ran his hand down Joey's arm.

"Well, thank you," Joey said, squeezing JC's hips.

"I'm not done yet," JC grinned. "Let's see." He leaned down and kissed Joey's right cheek. "You're always up for a road trip." A kiss on his forehead. "You're always thinking of different ways to do the same thing." A kiss on his left cheek. "You're always pushing it one step farther." A kiss on his nose. "You love to kick it up a notch. And last but not least," a kiss on the lips. "You are damn hot in the kitchen. Only not in the same way as Emeril. You're the sexy hot."

Joey smiled up at him. "You've been thinking about this, haven't you."

"What can I say? We're freakishly made for each other," JC grinned back.

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