Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

It's been awhile. A long while. How are you, the Mrs., the reindeer? You probably have a good idea how I'm doing.

This was, of course, JC's idea. Surprisingly, he wasn't high at the time. Not on drugs, anyway. Sugar is another story......

***

JC surveyed the crowd happily. There were markers and construction paper everywhere. Everyone, even Chris, was writing a letter to Santa.

JC had been invited to a birthday party for one of Chris's nephews. He'd forgotten which one, exactly, but the kid was turning four. JC was always invited to Chris's family gatherings, much as Chris was invited to his family's, and he went whenever he could. It just wasn't often enough to tell all the kids apart. They grew too fast. He and Bev had gotten to talking about Christmas and Santa and it had spiraled from there. Chris had bitched and moaned, but JC noticed that he was pretty intent on his letter.

"Hey! C! If I have to do this, you have to do this."

Well, as intent as Chris got, anyway.

JC bent and took a sheet of Chris's green paper. "Thanks for playing along," he murmured into Chris's ear. He straightened and sat down at the coffee table to consider.

Dear Santa,
How are you and Mrs. Claus? This has been a pretty good year for me and my family. There's not too much I need. Basically, I would very much like to have my album be done and done well. I want to be proud of it. It'd be nice if it was well received, but I don't need that.

Well. There is one more thing. Santa, I'm getting awfully tired of being lonely. I just want one person to share this all with. I keep trying, but am not having too much luck on my own. You understand.

See you in a few weeks.
Josh

He folded up his letter and collected everyone's as they finished, saying he would mail them all out together, bulk, and save postage. Chris eyed him suspiciously, but surrendered his letter in the end.

He really did have every intention of mailing them out, just as he had claimed. But then, well. Then one of the kids' letters had fallen open. He sneaked a peek when he folded it back up - it was a cool wish. He, himself, had made a similar wish when he had been that age. His hadn't come true, but what if little Avery's could? That, JC felt, would also be quite cool.

So he made some phone calls. Wish granted.

He eyed the stack of letters again. If he had granted one wish, why not more? With little thought to small matters such as privacy, JC dove into the letters, taking notes as to the ones he could do something with.

Finally, there were only two left. One, he knew, was his own. Nothing he could do with that one that he hadn't already. That meant the other was Chris's.

He felt a small pang of...something...when he picked it up. Buying things for the kids was one thing. Reading the letters of Chris's sisters, brothers-in-law and mother was something a little different. Reading the letter of his intensely private and secretive best friend, the deepest wishes he was willing to share with a mythical man, well, that was a whole other ball game. But he couldn't stop here. How he could leave out his best friend? He couldn't. Not to mention, this was Chris. He'd probably asked for a membership to the Beer of the Month Club. So he opened the letter and started to read.

***

The phone would not stop ringing. Chris had woken up and ignored it at least a hundred times that morning. Or five. Whichever, it was still obnoxious as hell and he deeply wished it would stop.

And it did. Chris closed his eyes, only to have it start again. He swore and picked up the phone, only to hear the dial tone. "Motherfucker," he said, his voice strangled.

He tried to lie back down and go back to sleep. He succeeded in the former but not the latter, much to his frustration. He got out of bed and headed downstairs. He was staying in Lance's house while he was in LA, since Lance was in Mississippi for the holidays. The whole place was decorated to the gills, and Chris had to be careful not to trip over any Seuss decorations littering the floor.

He had just reached Lance's state of the art coffee machine when the doorbell rang. He slammed his coffee cup on the counter and headed towards the door. Lance and his stupid internet purchases.

To his surprise, it was not a package for Lance the consumer whore, but for himself. Well, then. He headed back to the kitchen, a bit cheerier. He didn't mind being pulled from his coffee if the package was for him - not as much, anyway. Still, he poured himself a cup before going any further. He had his priorities.

He sliced into the box and dug through the foam peanuts. A newsletter lay on top of another box and he picked it up. "The Beer Harvest Review," he read and skimmed through it. A beer of the month club. He looked for a receipt but all it said was "From Santa." He rolled his eyes.

The phone rang and he grabbed for it.

"Where have you been?" Justin said. "I've been calling all day. What the hell did you say to JC, man?"

"What did I-?" Chris repeated. "I didn't say anything to him. What were you thinking calling and hanging up first thing in the morning?"

"Chris, it was noon," Justin said impatiently. "I had JC talking to me for two hours before that. I don't even - he kept going on about second chances and true love and I thought he was talking about him and Eva but then he starting talking about you, man. And I thought, whoa! When was there a first chance for you and him? But then he mentioned me, and I know there was no first chance with me and him. I think he meant you and me. But he never came out and said so. I don't think, anyway. So what did you say to him?"

"J, as much as it might pain you to hear this, JC and I don't discuss you every time we hang out," Chris said, taking another large gulp of coffee. He wasn't about to enlighten Justin on his and JC's brief relationship if he didn't already know.

"Fine, whatever," Justin said. "But he wants me to come out and spend time with you."

"But I just saw you last weekend," Chris said.

"I don't think he knows that. Besides, hey! Time with me is always good," Justin said, mock-belligerently.

"Of course," Chris started to say, but the ringing of his cell phone cut him off. "Hang on," he said and switched phones. "Mom?"

"Chris, hey. I just got off the phone with JC. You be nice to that boy, you hear me?" Bev sounded very earnest, and that made Chris very afraid.

"He's a good boy, Christopher, and he's working hard. You let him do it. Okay? Okay. I gotta go, your sister needs something. I'll call you later." She hung up and Chris slowly shut the phone.

"I think the entire world has lost their minds," Chris said to Justin. Justin made an affirmative noise. "I gotta call JC. Are you really coming?"

"Yeah, why not," Justin said. "Not today, though. I'll be in on the 20^th, maybe, stay a few days. See you then."

Chris dialed JC's cell phone, not sure which home he was at. "C? It's Chris. Where are you?"

"Hey, man!" JC sounded pleased. "I'm, uh, I'm in LA. Got in last night."

"Great," Chris said. "Get your ass to Lance's."

JC stuttered a little. "But, um, you, aren't you busy? Like, rehearsing and stuff? Or having people over?"

"No," Chris said. "I'm not. Except for you, who is coming over now. I'll see you in ten."

He poured more coffee and headed towards his guest room. He thought this situation might require caffeine and pants, at the very least.

It was twenty minutes before JC showed up. Chris had thought about how best to handle this - direct questioning could cause JC to babble defensively until everyone was confused. Talking around the subject meant they could end up having two different conversations entirely.

"Justin says hi," he said, startling JC into dropping his keys onto the foyer floor.

"Oh!" JC said. "Good! That's good. You talked with Justin."

"He called this afternoon," Chris said. "A few times, actually. My mother also says hi."

"Oh, well, hi back, when you talk to her again." JC smiled at him. "So how is Justin? Is he planning on coming out this week? He said, the last time we talked, that he might."

"He's thinking about it," Chris said. "So. Justin."

"Yeah, Justin," JC nodded. "He's doing good, isn't he? He's grown up really well. It's so nice of him to want to come out and see you perform and all."

Chris cocked his head. "Oh, that's why he's coming in? Well, that is nice of him. How about you? What's bringing you to LA?"

"This and that," JC waved his hand airily. "Songs, man, and friends. You know." He headed towards the kitchen and Chris followed.

"Are you gonna come to the gig?" Chris asked, grabbing a donut as JC poured himself coffee.

"Oh. Uh, well, yeah. If you want me there." JC smiled, looking a little uncertain.

"I do," Chris said.

"Okay, then," JC said.

Chris's eyes landed on the beer of the month box. From Santa Claus. Santa Claus, Justin was growing up well, JC on a mission. Damn. He had evidently had exactly the right amount of coffee, because things were falling into place. "Great. Make yourself comfortable. Be back soon."

He pulled his cell phone and speed-dialed his mother as he headed out of the room. "JC didn't mail those letters?"

"Yes, he did, Christopher. But not before a few fell open and he started granting wishes," Bev said. "I told you, be nice to him."

"But he's granting mine wrong!" Chris protested.

Bev laughed. "I wondered about that."

"I gotta go. I'll talk to you later." Chris sighed and dialed Justin. "JC is playing Santa and sucks at it," he announced.

"Say what?" Justin said, puzzled.

"Letters to Santa, vague wording, misunderstandings, I most sincerely do not want to get back together with you," Chris said, ticking them off on his fingers.

"Sure. Well, Cameron will be glad to hear that," Justin said. "Am I not coming to LA, then?"

"That's up to you," Chris said. "I have my own problems over here. Like getting JC to believe that I don't want to date you and that he needs to stop setting us up."

"Good luck with that," Justin said. "Changing JC's mind is like, I don't know. Changing the direction of the Mississippi River."

"I know," Chris snapped. "That's why it's a problem." He sighed. "I gotta go, he's in the kitchen. See you later."

***

JC puttered around the kitchen, tapping out some rhythms as he waited for Chris. He noticed the beer of the month boxes on the table and grinned. One present down. This one was harder - he didn't know how Chris and Justin would deal with Cameron, for one thing, but he was sure they'd work it out themselves. They just needed that little push.

Who would have thought that Chris still thought about Justin? Justin had had no clue how to be a boyfriend to anyone who didn't appreciate flowers, chocolate, and romance, and Chris had gotten fed up pretty quick. That had been almost five years ago, though, and things had changed. They had changed. Plus, there was really no reasoning with love, JC figured.

Chris came back in, still holding his cell phone. "Okay, so Justin won't be coming after all."

JC's fingers smacked against the counter. "What? No, why?"

Chris just shrugged. "We're all busy. Besides, I just saw him last week."

"Oh. Really? Well, uh," JC said, his mind racing, but Chris kept talking.

"I want some pizza. I'll get you pepperoni."

The afternoon and night sped by in a haze of pizza and beer. Every time JC tried to mention Justin, Chris changed the subject. They talked about JC's album and Chris's possible album, but when he brought up Justin's, Chris called him an ass and asked him to look at a song Chris was currently working on. It was almost 2 in the morning before JC was getting ready to go.

Chris walked him to the door. "I just want you to know, you are incredibly dense and it is damned obnoxious. I don't want to date Justin, so you have got to stop setting us up. I'll see you tomorrow."

Chris shut the door firmly in JC's very surprised face. Was Chris joking? He seemed serious, which, well, JC wasn't quite used to seeing. But how had he figured it out? What had Justin said? Had Justin turned Chris down, and now he was compensating?

He grabbed his cell phone as he walked to his car. It would be so like Justin to have this great opportunity and not see it for what it was. "J!" he said loudly. "What did you say to Chris?"

"What did I say to Chris?" Justin repeated. "Damn, man, now what are you talking about? Is this another two-hour phone call? If so, tell me now so I can tell Frank to take the long way to the club."

"Did you tell him you wouldn't come see him?" JC demanded. "You won't come out here and watch him perform? He needs you!"

"Hey, wait, wait," Justin said. "First off, I told him I'd come. And second, second," he spoke over JC's protests, "He doesn't need me. Where is this coming from?"

"He said you canceled," JC said. "And it's, well, it's Christmas, Justin, just about. I want him to be happy for Christmas."

"And you think me being there is going to do that?" Justin asked.

"Yes," JC said firmly.

"I think you're crazy," Justin said.

"No, I'm not," JC said. "I read it. You will make him happy!"

"It said my name?" Justin asked. "It said, "Chris Kirkpatrick believes that Justin Timberlake will make him happy?"

JC paused. "No. It said...that doesn't matter. I know what he meant."

"What did it say, JC?" Justin said.

"It said he wanted a second chance in a relationship. They'd been too young, especially the guy. And they are best friends now," JC said, as if reciting. He'd read the letter pretty often.

"Chris and I haven't been best friends for awhile now," Justin pointed out. "JC, we're good friends and all, always, but we're not best friends. I'm not the only younger guy he's dated that he's still friends with, you know."

"But," JC said, slowly. "Wait. No. What?" He rattled through the very short list of guys Chris had dated.

"You're not that dense, JC," Justin said, although his tone implied differently. "It's not me with a standing invitation to every one of Chris's family gatherings."

"He's invited to all mine, too," JC said automatically. "Because...shit. He's my best friend."

"Oh, God, finally," Justin said. "Don't you remember dating Chris? C'mon! I was not the logical assumption here, man."

"Of course I remember!" JC said. "Germany. Best two months I've spent with someone. Wait. You knew?"

"Apparently Chris agreed," Justin said. "And, well, no. Joey did, though. I asked him this afternoon."

"Great," JC said. "There's a phone call I'm going to need to make. You're really sure it's not you?"

"100%," Justin said. "Very, very sure. And equally sure it's you. Well." Justin paused. "Almost as sure."

"Almost?" JC's voice scaled up.

"Pretty sure," Justin said quickly. "Just do something about it. Okay? I'll talk to you later."

JC disconnected the line and sat there, wondering what the hell he was supposed to do now. This was totally unexpected. This was not what he had had in mind when he started this project. This was, possibly, the best news he'd heard since...well, since hearing the day before that his album would be finished within a week.

He started his car and drove home, thinking about what to do next.

The next afternoon found him back at Lance's. He held his unwieldy box as tightly as he could and tried to ring the doorbell. He smiled nervously at Chris as the door swung open.

"Merry Christmas," JC offered. He shrugged one shoulder to indicate the Santa hat on his head. "You, uh, guessed about the Santa thing, right?"

"Yeah," Chris said. "What's that you got?"

"Oh!" JC pushed the box at him and followed him inside. "It's an early gift from Santa. You were going to get it Christmas Day, but, well, you're getting it now."

"Have I been that good a boy?" Chris asked, raising his eyebrow.

"No, well, yes, okay," JC said, flustered, "but it's mostly an apology. From Santa. For screwing up your other wish so spectacularly."

"Actually, the beer of the month thing was great," Chris said, setting the box down by Lance's main tree, in the living room.

"Oh, good," JC said. "But now you're being dense." Chris crossed his arms and waited. "I'm sorry I tried to set you up with Justin. I really did think that's who you meant. I'm not used to thinking of myself as younger."

"Yourself?" Chris asked and JC felt a flash of panic.

"No! I mean anyone else. Whoever you meant! Justin is the youngest one I know of and so I just, you know, thought, well," he broke off when Chris started laughing. "You jackass!"

"Now, now. Is that any way to treat," Chris's voice trailed off.

"My best friend? My potential boyfriend, love interest, whatever?" JC filled in. "Yes, I think so."

"You sure?" Chris asks.

JC nodded. "You're not the only one who thinks he screwed up and could use a second chance. I loved those two months. I think we can at least double it this time around." He smiled.

"At least," Chris agreed, and kissed JC. JC moved to thread his hands through Chris's hair, but Chris pulled back before he could reach. "There will be more of that. Lots more. But if this is what I think it is, it's just going to have to wait." He grinned gleefully and tore into the box; JC couldn't help smiling at his enthusiasm.

The afternoon was filled with laughter and crashes but as Chris had promised, the night was filled with lots more.

***

Dear Santa,
It's been awhile. A long while. How are you, the Mrs., the reindeer? You probably have a good idea how I'm doing.

This was, of course, JC's idea. Surprisingly, he wasn't high at the time. Not on drugs, anyway. Sugar is another story.

Should I mention drugs in a letter to Santa? Probably not, but hey, it's not like you really exist up there in the North Pole. I haven't written a letter like this since I was 6. I'm out of practice. I don't know why I'm doing this. Everyone was so excited at the idea, though, so I guess that's why.

What do I want? Well, Santa, I'd really love to join one of those once a month clubs. Not flowers or some crap like that. Something good - beer, maybe. Delivered to my door, no shopping, sounds great.

I'd like a second chance. I want a do-over. There was this one relationship - it was good. It was very good, but I didn't try hard enough. He was young, and I wasn't old enough. I was scared and I screwed it up and I want to try again. I'm ready now. All the roadblocks, mine and from the guys, they're gone and I think it could work. Except I don't think I'll be the one to start it, he's my best friend now and I can't lose that, and that's where that Christmas Miracle thing comes in.

Oh, and remember that Green Machine bike I asked for the last time, when I was 6? I wouldn't say no to that, either.

Thanks.
Chris Kirkpatrick

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