Blue Roses

Just got off the phone with mom. She's making me feel a lot better. I really am upset that I won't be getting any As this semester, and she was like, don't be. The students who are getting As right now are the ones who are doing almost nothing but studying, and there's no way I could ever do that. I have too many interests, between the listservs, sib stuff, friendships, etc. My grades are showing that I worked hard in my classes, but I worked hard at other things in my life that I consider to be important, too. I still don't quite believe that, though. All I can think is that I could have put so much more effort into classes and less into, say, West Wing. She's trying to tell me that I'm being "intellectually stimulated" by WW, though, and that it's fostering my already existing interest in politics. Which I guess is true, but not exactly helping my current classes, you know? ARGH! I just wanted to do so much better this semester than last, and I'm not going to! After all this work, I may even do worse, and that makes me just want to cry. I'm so frustrated. I want to do well, but the more I try, the less well I do. I don't even want to bother trying anymore.

And this is me feeling a lot better. Scary, huh?