Blue Roses

My one day off all week! Yay!!

So yesterday I decided to watch my MSG tape, 'cause the internet sucked and I was bored. So I did. And, um, did I mention that my phone now rings IGBM? "cause, um, it does. And so I was in the living room watching the SDBs sing IGBM, and then I heard beeping echoing their singing pretty damn well. And I thought, "Oh, fuck. The tracking already sucks, now it's making noises." Then I realized it was my phone. <.g> It was mom.

She's been at the hospital the last two days. Dad has been so majorly nice and wonderful. He went out yesterday at 6am to buy her a sandwich and two sodas and magazines and stuff so she could leave at 6:45, and he stayed with Josh all day long, until she got home at 7:30. And even then he was putting Josh to bed still. And she was there from 11ish-8ish the day before. Isn't that wonderful of him? So, anyway, she was there for a long time. This was her timeline:

Saturday night, I bought a funny card for Po, Sunday I moved down, Monday Daddy mailed it. Po got it on Tuesday, and he read it, and it made him smile a lot. It's hanging up next to my sunset. It was good timing, because he can't do that anymore. He hasn't spoken since Wednesday. He just lies there, eyes maybe half open, blinking maybe 6 times yesterday, mom said. Which of course dries out your eyes and that isn't pretty. He's also down to 8 breaths a minute. Everything is shutting down quickly.

So that's her timeline. Grammy doesn't go home anymore. She lies in bed with him pretty much all the time. For Father's Day, I got him a t-shirt that says "This is what a cool grandpa looks like." He wore it nonstop the last week until Thursday, when his J-tube started leaking and he had to put on a gown. Now it lies on top of him all the time Grammy wanted to know if it should be cremated with him, or if I wanted it back. It's his. It is so important to him, makes him so happy. So it'll be a part of him always when he passes.

Obviously not a very uplifting phone conversation. I wish I was there, though, and not here. I really don't like my job. Fully miserable in it, as a matter of fact. I had a lot of time to think yesterday, and I think that's responsible for my return of nsync obsession - the videos and exessive fic and daydreams. I didn't need them this summer because I was already totally happy with my job and everything else. Didn't need the external lift of happiness, or whatever. I tend to spend all my time online and doing nsync stuff when I am bored or dislike what's going on around me. Didn't need that this summer - I loved what I was doing, went out often, etc. nsync was just a fun thing, rather than the fun thing. It's a difference, in my mind anyway, and I liked it better this summer.

So. I was watching the pretty puppies, and D was like, "Ick." But I told him I planned to watch some Queer as Folk UK after it, and that it fit the theme. He said his sister had tried to convince him one day that all members of nsync and BSB were straight and I giggled. Couldn't help it. LOL Eh, who knows what they are, but they're touchy-feely boys, and I like that very much. LOL So, I watched them, and hey, person with nonedited version (I got mine off WB) - who does JC smile at so happily in IWYB right after the flips? It was SO CUTE!!!!! LOL It was like the giggly grin in Atlantis during the aquarium shot.

So then I popped in episode one of QaF. Somehow, THAT D would watch with me. And watch he did. <.g> For me, it was slightly awkward, 'cause boys having sex, whch I am fine with when watching alone or with people I know appreciate it. And damn it, I'm still not sure how D swings after that. LOL I havend't had a chance to watch them all summer, so it was my first time. I kept, of course, comparing it to the US version. LOL I kept telling D is was strange to see Stuart so nice, after Brian, which he couldn't believe. LOL But he was! And I liked him, but I liked Brian better. Vince, though, I liked more than I did Michael. And I love Michael, but. Vince! <.g> He's cool. Justin's cuter than Nathan, but both are simply adorable. All in all, I can't wait to keep watching, because it's wonderful, but probably not with D. LOL

So today I slept until 11! It feels great. But it's SO damn disconcerting, because it was still pitch black in here. And that made me want to sleep more. Damn, I can't wait for windows. Barr people said they were almost certain I could move in on Monday. Which would be super cool, I think. But begs the question - what exactly is Justin performing on? VMAs, I thought? But what about the teen choice awards? When are they on? What station? Enquiring minds want to know. <.g> But, yes. Damien is great, honestly. And I've gotten used to living here. But I want my own happy place! Where I can watch QaF, and then other nsync videos, because I'll have them, and yes. All good, and worth trading a 1 minute walk to work for a 13.

So, plans for today? Fun, baby! Sims, putting together the scenes I've written in my underage!Timbertrick, possibly saving all of my webpages in case I have to move (probably something to think about do anyway. LOL), maybe watch Breakfast at Tiffany's with D, going to bed early. ::nods:: Yes. Fun.

Oh, but first - last night I opened my Real Jukebox so I could hear Justin's song again. And a note popped up that there had been an error, and did I want to reset my settings to the last time? If that ever happens to you, say YES. I said no, completely confused and all my MP3s disappeared. I imported them again in minutes, it wasn't a big deal, but there are repeats and they are all out of my order and it makes me want to cry. <.sigh> I LIKED my old order. It was the order I downloadde them in, and you could tell my mood/interests then, and that made it easier to listen to a bunch I wanted to. And I hate change. And this is all changed. Which SUCKS.

So. Back to listening to the OTL soundtrack and off to have fun!