Blue Roses

Man, have these last five days been long. Po in the hospital, me in the ER, saying goodbye to kidlets, moving, lack of internet since Saturday, first day at work today.

So, where to start? The beginning, I guess.

Thursday:
After work, Dad drove me to the hospital to visit Po. I got there at 7. We were just starting to slip into things past chit-chat when my Great-Aunt Karen and her son Johnny came in. Aunt karen comes to pick up Grammy, her sister, ever day. This time, Johnny tagged along. Now, I understand that Johnny is going through hard times. his ex-wife is being v. uncooperative about custody and everything. But everyone knew Thursday was my day to visit and say goodbye. And he spent my ENTIRE FUCKING visit talking about poor little him. I was extremely pissed. I only got one minute to say goodbye, and it was IN FRONT OF THEM! They didn't even give me that time. Mad mad mad.

Friday:
Leaving the kids was hard. Dominic and I took them to the park, where we played with a ferret and D and I talked for the entire 2 hours straight. I miss him. : ( We watched a movie when we got back - Hook - but some of the kids were too scared to watch. So I colored in the other room with them. I made a cute little pictureof a girl (me) on a castle roof, and a little prince (Dominic, perhaps? LOL) walking up. There was lots of fireworks and it said "Some day my prince will come." It went over very well with the kids, esp C who asked if she could draw the exact same picture. <.g> I left it there, okay, I guess, kinda for D, but really for anyone who wants it. Like D. LOL Also dew other pics, some for the kids, one a sunset that I kept. Kinda looked like a fried egg but the girl who insisted I draw it it said it looked lovely. <.g> So, I said goodbye at 5, and one little girl came running after me when I was on the stairs. She launched herself and my legs and burst into tears, sobbing that she didn't want me to go. Broke my HEART, let me tell you. : ( My sweetie.

So, got home. Mom said the priest had been over at Grammy and Po's. Po'd been discharged at 11 that morning, which is when he got his morphine. The hospice worker (YES, hospice...grammy forgave mom and realized she'd been right) was supposed to be there early, but she never showed up. Grammy wanted to see us, even though Po said no. So mom and I said hell with it and went. We got there at 7. He still hadn't had morphine or his fat/glucose and was in horrible pain. So I did what Rinas do best - babble. I told him all about my kids and showed him the pictures they had drawn for me that day, and the sunset I had colored, and anything else that came to mind. While I was doing that, and trying my best to keep him connected and not focused on the pain, plans were being made to bring him to the hospital.

Po didn't want to go in an abulance, nor did Grammy want him to. They tend to bungle things. So mom, Uncle Marty and Uncle Bobby (with some assistance from me) did a three man carry and carried him to our minivan. (He can't bear any weight.) We opened the windows, turned on the oldies station, and sang along at the top of our lungs. The first sng, that Do-wah-ditty ditty-dum-ditty-do song was the first one, which funnily enough is the song that Po always sang to grammy.

So, we get to the hospital, aunt Margaret and Uncle Marty following with Grammy. We have to wait in the ER for the direct admit paperwork to be filled out and only one person can be with him there, so it was me. More with the babble. It was 8 exactly when we got there. At 8:45, we went up to his room. Same damned room and bed he was in that morning! LOL

So, we get Po into his room, and he, grammy and the hospice worker huddle while mom, uncle marty, aunt maragaret and I stand in the hall. See, to enter hospice, you have to hear about it, accept it, say the words, and do paperwork. So while they talked, we talked and laughed in the hall, comparing experiences from the ER/gettin him checked in. 'Cause I'd heard people on my end talking to people on their end, and vice versa, so we each knew half of the players. Amazing how comical some things can seem.

Po agrees to hospice, gets his morphine, it's 9pm and time for paperwork. Grammy goes to do that while the rest of us go into Po's room and talk and reminisce and all that jazz. He didn't contribute much, but he listened and smiled. By 10, I go and see what's taking so long with the paperwork. Mom and Aunt M soon follow. By 12:30, it's done. 3.5 hours of paperwork to die. It was long and hard and the interview told me more than I wanted to know about what it was like with Po. He signed a DNR, everything. We said our goodbyes, I gave him my sunset, we left at 1:15, and were home by 2am. I feel there was something else of importance that happened, but I don't remember now.

Saturday:
Oh, yeah, here's one thing. LOL I woke up on Friday with a bug bite on my middle right finger. It swelled all day, until at about 11pm when I had to take my ring off because it didn't fit anymore. It kept swelling all day Saturday as I tried to finish packing. By 7, I had to go to the ER because it was red, hot, puffy, swollen, and there were red streaks heading up my finger and down toward my wrist. Infection/allergic reaction. It was fun trying to find an antibiotic that I hadn't already had a reaction to. But we did! And then we drove to 3 Walgreens' before we found one that had a 24 hour pharmacy. LOL

Sunday:
Moved out. We left at 10, after 30 minutes of frantic (and unsuccessful searching) for my debit card. <.sigh> Started things off lousy. Got more and more nervous the closer we got. Got there, found Damien, brought my stuff in, went out to lunch and shopping. Mom and dad like him, which is good. It's a small place. Dark place. ONe window, which is mostly always covered with blinds since it leads to a walkway. He insisted I have his room and he'd take the couch, so here I am. My computer is set up on his dresser. My back hurts. LOL But I called Jennie and we talked for two hours, and that made me happy.

Monday:
Woke up at 9, ran errands. Got back before Damien even woke up. Tripped over many things in the dark. Got an ethernet card because I had switched out the wrong card in May. Tried to install it. Didn't work. Tried for 7 hours. D was late for work. Called tech support. Said bad card. I cried. Played Sims - Joey and Lance had a baby. It was a boy...I was SO surprised, I couldn't think of a name!! but I know what happens when they don't get named fast enough, so I typed in Scott, for Sherwood. Then realized that it was also a JC name. ::bangs head:: Whoops. Oh, well. Scott Bass is a little boy now. Total geek. We're working on it. Chris and Justin went downtown and had sex in a changing booth after Justin tried on red silk pjs.

Today:
Worked from 9-5. 30 minute break, got new e-card. Did copies the entire freaking day. Maybe that's also why my back hurts. LOL Put in the new card, didn't work, nearly cried. Told D he had to do it. He did. I won't say how, because I will cry if I do. LOL It was...yeah. I'm an idiot. But it had been saying that ALL SUMMER, really! So, yeah. I'm online. Well, not right now. Because even though D and I have a hub that I bought, we can't be online through it at the same time. That pisses me off. The IP address conflicts with the hardware, or something. We have to fix it. I can only get a connection directly, not through the hub.

But. While he was working, mom called. Po wants to stay in the hospital. His son came to visit today. His son and Grammy held hands told Po they loved him, and that it was time to go. It was okay. Po told both of them his goodbye. So I called. And he told me goodbye, too. A real one. Said I was the most special thing in his life. He didn't sound good. Grammy was lying in bed with him, holding the phone up for him. But I think he'll hold on until the 15th. He's a very big Elvis fan, you know.