Blue Roses

So. Starting at the end. I just met Damien's mom. ::blinks:: Dude, I love her. Seriously. She has the coolest brogue. Sweetest personality, great sense of humor. I adore her. Makes me almost regret that I've realized that I will never think of Damien as anything but a friend. (ALMOST) 'Cause really, she's cool. <.g> Anyway, she said she could have sworn that she went into the wrong apartment, because she's NEVER seen it this cleaned up. LOL She also said that that's how boys are, and her husband was the same way, and I'm very brave for staying here. <.g> They invited me out, to Red Lobster, but I'm just not feeling up to going anywhere. Big surprise. I owe D a huge apology for being such a crappy guest. But, hey, I have his place to myself now. Until Friday, when I move out.

Moving backwards, Justin's album, Justified, will be out November 12. The video is out September 9, and the Making of is out the 4th. I'm rather excited. The more I hear the song, the more I love it. It's on now, in fact. I'm even picking up more of the lyrics. Wish I could find them all online somewhere. I kinda blinked at the album name at first, but now it amuses me. Apparently people at LJ have been criticizing J a lot, for everything from the album title to the musical style, but I'm not seeing much of it. Besides, who cares? I'm looking forward to the album - it's not *my usual style, but hey, neither was the Buffy soundtrack and I adore it. If it's anything like this song, it'll be growly and sexy, and hey, I'll happily deal.

And now. So, remember that post I made the day Po died? Mom and I were talking about what she had sent to her friends and the esophageal cancer list, and I said I had a post, too. I asked if she wanted to read it, she said yes. She said it was wonderful. Showed it to daddy, who was very impressed. Today, she talked to Grammy, who's doing pretty well. Amazingly well. But she did decide that she wants a memorial service, so that's going to be Saturday. So, Kate, yeah. I'll move in with you on Friday and promptly abandon you. : ( Sorry.

But. Mom told Grammy about what I wrote, Grammy wanted to hear it, and mom read it to her. And now Grammy wants me to read it at the service. Which I'll do, of course. I'm nervous. But I think it will be good. Some real closure. Besides, I'm proud of the way it came out.

Mom and I talked today - Josh had speech this morning, but in the end, mom canceled it. Said she just couldn't bear to go back to a routine just yet. And YES. That's so it. I've been so upset because I've had to be back in my routine so quickly. Within hours. With no real time to grieve. And that fucking sucks. I remembered back to last year, when Liesl died. I was quite sad that night, but by morning, I was feeling okay. Just like I am now. But I went home the next day, and that's what made it real for me - being where she should have been and wasn't. So I think being home and the memorial service will help me, the change of routine will help me. Not that, at this point, I really want it to be real. 'Cause that's going to hurt, big time.