March 24, 2006

Oh. My. Word.

I've been horrid about updating this year. It's mainly been quiet. I spent a few months applying to grad schools for library science, working 5 jobs, etc etc.

Today I came home to a thin envelope from UWisconsin. I figured, thin, clearly another rejection, year four, who's surprised?

Me. Because it wasn't a rejection. It was an acceptance. I am in graduate school! It said congratulations! I am over the moon.

It bears repeating. I AM IN GRAD SCHOOL! I am a graduate student. I am working towards my masters in library science. Who would have thunk it? I'm extraordinarily pleased and excited. I imagine I will continue feeling like this until I get the first tuition bill.....LOL

Meanwhile, I celebrate. :)

September 28, 2004

long ass day

It's been such a long day! I got here at 9am (leaving my house just after 8) for two meetings, even though I don't have class until 6:30. Eeek! But anyway, it's been pretty productive - I figured out my part in a group presentation next week (which I'm actually quite looking forward to), ate lunch, read some of my book, went to another meeting where I got assigned to do research on speech for kids who are deaf and cochlears, which, of course, is basically all that I learned on the job last year. I have resources to hit, yay! So that's cool. Then back to the computer lab where I did an assignment not due until November - go ME! I'm all on top of things.

For now, anyway, until the next wave of panic comes crashing down on me. <.g> That will likely be tonight, when I'm beyond exhausted (not home until after 10pm) and feeling terrified about therapy tomorrow.

I still have three hours before class. I'm thinking I might go read the article that's due for Neuro next week. That should make me feel better tonight.

September 06, 2004

school again

So I don't get to leave speech after all. Gah!!!!! It's all just killing me. Every bit of it. I don't know up from down anymore, and I certainly can't make any good decisions. I can barely decide what to watch on TV these days.

Hilary says that she's doing library science and it feels like she's a round peg in a round hole. And geez, that's all I want. Something that feels like a fit. Right now I more feel like I'm a square peg going into a rectangular hole, or something. It's close, maybe, but not the right place. But like I said, I don't even know what I want to watch on TV these days.

I'm on a huge Queer as Folk kick these days - it's my escape. <.g> A well written and acted soap opera featuring mostly sexy men - what else can a girl want?! It's sure 1000xs better than GH these days. I'm so disgusted by the misogynistic garbage that it keeps spewing on my screen. (I have far fewer troubles deciding not to watch this show. <.g>) I rented QaF S1 again - watched the first 8 eps last week and will grab the next two discs tomorrow. If only video stores carried later seasons!! Showtime just finished airing S4, and I've still only seen S1! It is to cry.

Kare e-mailed me tonight saying how crappy she felt about a friend who was ignoring her e-mails and texts and all. Dude. All I could offer was, "am there, doing that." It utterly sucks to be ignored by people you thought were friends. I guess I'm feeling a little lonely lately, and so that hit home more. PLus my Jennie has disappeared on me, her cell isn't on and her apartment phone goes to machine, and I miss her. : ( I'm sure she's just at home, enjoying her sibs, but I always worry. <.g>

30 minutes until Ken Jennings on Jeopardy! I love him.

September 01, 2004

school bits

I've been trying, every day,to explain a little of my feelings about school to mom. It goes better in little bits than it does trying to explain everything. Especially since this has been coming to me in bits over a period of time, and it's completely unfair to expect her or dad to get it all at once. They need time, just like me.

So today we talked a little bit, and discussed my dropping neuro as a credit class to easemy load. (Last night, the teacher (who reminded me SO MUCH of Tamara Braun) said how last year after the first class six people dropped and one ended up sobbing in the bathroom about how she wanted to leave the program and find out if her old job was still available. I sympathized. <.g>) I like this option. I felt much better about things after that talk.

Then I called after class this morning, and we talked again. She's pushing for me to apply to the library science program this week/next week and see if I can get accepted now. "End this charade" is the way she put it. So, I read about the application process and such, found the name of my writing teacher from junior year - he's the only professor I can think of!

As it turns out, my girl doesn't have an aide yet.

But see...I feel bad. I feel bad that this was important to mom and I can't do it. This very likely shouldn't have an impact on my big life choices, but it does. (Like Jess, I have a strong attachment to my family <.g>) I feel guilty that I can't do what she expects me to do. And then on top of that, of course I have the fear that library science isn't it for me, either, and what the fuck do I do then?

One really nice thing about the application, though, is part of it is visiting a library and interviewing and asking questions and learning about the job. I think that's really great, and something I would definitely want to do anyway. That may help alleviate myfears of finding another profession that doesn't agree with me.

Also, this is a very big step of independence and making up my own mind and making choices, and well, I'm not too good at any of those things. But I guess it's best to jump in and try now, than never.


August 26, 2004

at school

Well, I'm at my first day of classes. One down, one to go.

Got here at 12, bought my book and parking permit. Went to class. Felt very stupid in the pretest, although yay! Still remembered IPA language. I always enjoyed that aspect.

Went to the business office. Cried when they informed me that I owed $2500 today, which I most certainly do not have. Called mom, who called them, and now I don't owe it until next Wednesday. Which is still scary, but less so.

Now waiting for my next class, which is at 6:30. Ugh. So much downtime. Yay for computer labs, though. It's kept me occupied.

Tonight I need to fill out FAFSA and get that in so I can take out a loan.

This is all such a nuisance. I haven't stopped twitching my shoulder all day. I can't even say, "I can't wait to get home," because tonight is going to be hell filling all this crap out.

Not a good start to something I was reluctant about anyway.

August 11, 2004

decision made...for now

The temperature has actually dropped since I woke an hour and a half ago. It's now 63 degrees. In August. In Chicago.

I quit my job on Monday. Took the place with the grad school. I'm still applying to library school for summer, however, to see if that becomes an option. And if it does, then perhaps I can change into that field.

Dinner out tonight. I'm crossing my fingers they have ostrich again. If not, perhaps I shall get venison again. That was quite delicious.

August? Summer? Any time you wish to come back and grace us with at least 80 or 85 degree temps, feel free. Really.

August 04, 2004

grad schools

Oh, my.

This morning, the phone rang. The caller ID stated the name of a professor at one of the universities I applied to for speech graduate program. I knew. I knew, and started screeching, "NO!" waving my hands wildly, trying to tell my mother that I wasn't here, don't give me that damn phone, thank you very much.

This was the school where I took a class last fall. Where I knew professors personally, and two of my three letters of rec came from professors of their school. One, in fact, came from the man who called today, who taught that class I took. I was turned down in May.

Then came today. When mom handed me the phone, he and I made brief small talk and he came to the point of the call: someone dropped out of the program, my name was at the top of the waiting list, and the spot is mine if I desire. I have seven days to decide.

I've been investigating library science programs. Last night, I chose continuing education classes to take this fall, and planned an intro to library class to take in the winter. I have a job; the kid knows I'm working with her, the mom knows, the teacher knows, the principal knows, the board knows. I know. I'm very excited about this job. I can't have my job and this program.

Everyone's telling me to take the place. Everyone assumes that this is what I worked for and what I want so I should take it. I'm less confident, and my confidence is being further rattled by the fact that I'm in a minority of one in not jumping at this.

I put speech behind me months ago. I moved on. No one else did, it seems. And now it's here again and I don't know what to do with it. Saying no would be taking a great deal of power and firmly making the choice to put this very big part of my life behind me and tell everyone they were wrong about how they look at me and that's very scary. What if I say no, and nothing else works out? Then I've screwed myself over because I didn't choose something that everyone SAID was the right choice, and what kind of idiot am I? But what if this is my chance to put this behind me, realize that a grad school in my field asked me to join them, so of course a library grad school would do the same thing.

Do I go for the sure thing (speech, bizarrely enough, after all this time) or do I wait and try for something different? Something that maybe I will want to spend the rest of my life perfecting? Do I stay with the old and familiar, or push myself out there to try something new?

I had everything planned out. I was going to work with my girl this year, enter a grad program next year, work in libraries for a number of years and then maybe get a degree in teaching. And now everything is shot to hell and I don't know what to do and I feel like no matter what I do I'll disappoint someone and I'm going to start crying now.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Grad schools suck.

December 30, 2003


Grad school apps SUCK. Seriously. I'm so stressed and freaked, I yell at everyone. Repeatedly. I can't wait until this is over and all I need to do is wait. Nervewracking, to be sure, but at least then I can play Sims and read fic to distract myself.

But I checked my grade for the grad school class I took last sem, and I got an A! A 4.0 GPA for grad school, so far. <.giggle> I'm happy about that. So I just need to get that all sent around to the schools I'm applying to. Look! See, I can do the work.

I got the cutest pjs for Christmas. The top is just pink, but the bottoms are pink with circles. I took a pic and uploaded, because they remind me of something Krissy would design. <.g> Cute and fun and pretty.

I'm loathe to go back and do more app work. But I have to. <.sigh> Blah.

Continue reading "eep" »

May 14, 2003

half way done

Two finals done, two finals left. ::happy sigh:: Archaeology was beautfiful. Ten essays, two and a half hours, but I actually knew what I was writing about. I was dead on about pulling out the topics that she'd want essays on, so go me! I totally think I aced it.

My TV is going to be working overtime tonight. I'm watching the Dawson finale. (::sniff::) I'm clicking over for the AI results (::sniff::) I'm taping West Wing at 8. Thanks to TBS, I'm taping Dawson's finale on Thursday morning. (It BETTER be airing then, like the website says. Seriously. I will THROW THINGS and yell and cry a lot if it's wrong.)

Outside of 149 copies of the same exact digest this morning, I have received almost NO mail. E-mail me, people? Talk to me? Please? <.g>

Today, I write my Poli Sci essays. Tomorrow, I finish them and study for Weather. Friday I take the Weather exam. Saturday, I graduate. I still don't believe that. But I will. And that stuns me like you wouldn't believe.

So, I shall go immerse myself in nsync fic and fantasy where I can ignore such things like college graduations. Denial, yo. Fun place!

May 12, 2003


Five hours of studying. For one exam. And she's coming back tomorrow to finish it off. Eeeeeeeeep. I'm brain dead. And I still have to study for tomorrow's myth exam! LOL

By the end, we were getting a little slap happy. The teacher is *awful about timelines. We went through the 18th and 19th Dynasties, then jumped to a sentence on the 22nd, then the 26th, and one word on the 27th. Thats about 1015BC. Next sentence? Alexander the Great in 332BC. Nothing in between, nothing after. Next lecture? Jumps BACK to 2523BC. ::blinks:: It makes no SENSE! And I said so. Often. In a rant. Valerie laughed for 10 minutes straight. Then, just wanting to be DONE, I synthesized the last lecture, 3 pages, into a few words: He was an egotistical pig who loved art but not the military. Seriously, it summed it all up. She about died laughing. I think we were a little on edge. but hey, phsyical *and mental workout, yo. Work off all those white cheddar puffs we consumed.

Save me.

May 07, 2003


I am completely done with classes as an undergrad. Eeek? LOL I don't believe it yet. Probably won't believe it until finals start in a week. LOL Where'd the time go?! This is nuts, yo. Seriously.

And in news about the twit that started me saying "yo," Justin Timberlake has signed a deal with Turner to do sports commentary on TNT and TBS. I don't care so much about basketball, NASCAR or golf, but I'm looking forward to the baseball segments. Of course, I've heard him talk about the first three sports at length and never about baseball, my fave, so that should prove interesting. LOL But call me odd, I think this is a neat career move for him. He loves sports, he has the know-how, and it's good experience. Should be fun.

Okay, I have a fair amount of things to do over the next two days, so I should get started. Eeeep. LOL

May 06, 2003

humorously disastrous

So, today was the dance final. Angela and I were first.

We start. It's quiet. We hit the happy part, the audience loves it. Laughing, clapping, etc. Keep going, they still like it. We wiggle, they cat call. We do our Linus and Violet moves, they crack up. We finish the second happy part, and Angela blanks entirely. I'm hissing, "Start from the beginning? The beginning! We repeat! Don't we repeat??" She announces, "We don't remember it!" I'm going, "WHAT?!" as we leave the stage to much applause anyway. GAH!!!! LOL!

It was going SO WELL. I wish I had been confident enough in remembering the routine to just start. : / But it was still a great deal of fun, much moreso than the midterm.

Kate, this would have been the semester for you to come watch - us with our nsync moves, another group with Tell Me Tell Me Baby, one did Fighter, and one girl did One Song Glory. <.g>

But you know what? It's over now. And we put a lot of effort in, and had fun. So there's that.

April 30, 2003


Help, guys! I need to find a video/instruction guide online for Celtic or Irish dancing. I've been trying and trying, but all I find are videos to purchase! We need to choreograph our dance *today. (It's an Afro-Celtic song that my partner chose. Think lots of pipes and drums.) Help? Please?

April 15, 2003


Today has been such a bah day. It started out promising (finished report, got a B on an exam, got measured for cap and gown) and went downhill (fuckheads at Columbia said no). Now I'm down to one school I haven't heard from, here, and while I could call (and probably will tomorrow), I don't think I could handle the 50% chance of rejection today.

On the plus side, it's nice weather. For the moment, anyway. (Hey, I tried! LOL)

April 14, 2003


And the waiting game for grad school continues. Some days, I could just cry and cry.

But not today. Today it was a warm 85 degrees outside, and it was quite lovely. I plan to enjoy tomorrow'a foray into the 80s as well.

Well, Ihad considered posting more. About something, I'm sure. But right now? I'm gonna go eat dinner. Hot dogs and chili is sounding quite good to be now.

April 08, 2003


So I crawled into bed around 7:30 last night. Was warm and comfy and studying but tired at about 8. Ready to close my eyes, when....ring ring! And because I'd already gotten one call from a prospective subletter earlier, didn't want to ignore another. So answered the phone - it was my friend Lissa! Who I haven't talked to in months, but still has the knack for calling at the exact wrong time. <.g>

So we chatted for about half an hour, 45 minutes, I went back to bed, and was asleep by 9. Tried to wake up before 7. Crawled out of bed at 8. So, about 11 hours of sleep.

And now 2 hours to study for my Atmos exam! I think I know more than I think I do. I did okay on the practice test, I did well on the homework, I've read the book and my notes. There's really nothing more I can do, and after all this time it had to have sunk in. So I'm not too worried about it. Just want it over. LOL

March 31, 2003


I luuuuuuuurve my Poli Sci prof. He told me that yes, he gives make up exams, but they're harder essay formats, and an hour instead of 30 minutes. So, I prepped for a harder test, knowing that it was worth it.

I get there? "I decided to give you the same multiple choice test your classmates got." Bless his HEART! I was done in 15 minutes, and I absolutely adore him entirely.

Now I get to do all the fun unpacking things I didn't have time for yesterday, because I was so busy studying. LOL Also, must find time to play Sims - I must needs get my pretty boys drunk and see them lose inhibitions!

March 12, 2003


Wheee! Last midterm is DONE! It was kinda scary, but not too bad. I know I smacked those essays out of the park, and that was about half the exam, so that's good. The m/c I did fine on, the fill in the blank was okay, so it was only the definitions that tripped me up. I knew two, had an idea on one, and fudged two. LOL So we'll see how it went.

Now? I worry about driving. EEEEEEEEEP! 45 minutes. Ack ack ack. ::looks at permit:: This is scary. <.g> But the guy sounds nice, so that's something. But. Eeeeek. I haven't been behind a wheel in, like, 2 years? Three?

Pray for me and those out on the streets. <.g>

March 11, 2003


AOL just informed me that Mac AOL Broadband users aren't yet able to particpate in a poll I clicked on.

Well, thanks. Because I'm a PC cable line user who never signed on for AOL Broadband.

Had my dance show today. The class is quite amusing - lots of catcalls and such during. <.g> I noticed several nsyncy moves, like the line wiggle thing from...IWYB? Anyway, much cuteness. Ours went okay, all groups had to perform twice, and I felt great after the first and significantly less great after the second. Ugh. I think I may need some Ben and Jerry's, here. LOL

Off to study. And perhaps cook.

March 07, 2003


So. I get dressed in dance clothes (grey and pink dance pants, Elmo and Grover t-shirt). I head out to find the sorority house that we're rehearsing in. I find it. I wander around, feeling that something wasn't right. I ring the bell. Girl answers, says [...] is at her office hours, but I can come in and wait. I hang out, watching TV. [...] comes home. Yeah. They canceled the rehearsal, but couldn't remember my e-mail address.

GAH! Oh, well. The house was absolutely gorgeous, and the girls there were pretty nice. And of course, everyone loves feeling chubby and brunette in a sea of skinny blonde girls. Not to mention the Elmo/Grover thing. <.g>

Knew there was a reason I didn't want to go, man! LOL

I need to do a redesign here. I can't decide if I want to keep the same idea and just change the color, or what. Decisions, decisions.

January 21, 2003


This may get long. On the other hand, it may not, because I may fall asleep during the writing of it.

So. Got to work at 8. Worked until 10. Boss-lady is so mean. And she thinks anyone not her is stupid. And sometimes she makes me want to cry. Definitely makes me not want to work there ever again.

First class was at 10. I have a very good shot at getting into this. It's a film class, and it seems like a lot of work, but I think it would be my only class that did involve a lot of work. So. But tomorrow is the first movie - EEEK! too soon! But it's Psycho, which I've already seen. We'll see, man. I wouldn't hate the class, but I wouldn't love it.

Next was Severe and Hazardous Weather, at 11:30, which I'm already in. And I adore it. Like, so much. Oh, my gosh, I'm such a geek, but I called my mom immediately after and just squealed. I'm actually excited about doing the homework, man. It's all wonderful, 100%. I adore the teacher, and can't wait for the next class.

Next was Greek and Roman Mythology at 1. Again, loved it. He told us a myth today, to demonstrate what we'll do, and he put up slides with art work showing the story. And some were classic paintings, and others....well, it was the myth about Europa, and he was talking about how they were walking down the street and saw lots of cows and were impressed. but then they saw a bull, and just adored it. 'Cause they didn't get out much. <.g> And it was a special bull, and he showed us a picture of....Michael Jordan. <.g> And the bull could change forms, because it was Zeus, and it could end up in a Wizard's uniform. <.g> He cracked me up, man. It'll be an easy, fun class that I will love.

Next came Politics and the Media at 2:30. I might get in. I was #43 on the waiting list at the start of the hour, and #19 at the end. So. Long shot, but you never know. Oh, my God, I want to be in this class. A lot of work, yes, but so worth it. I would gladly, gladly do this work. For the first part of the class, we watched Clinton's Lewinsky broadcast that was five years ago today, and we analyzed why he chose that medium, and the camera angle and the colors and the location and it was SO COOL. Seriously. And then we talked about all sorts of things, and he said straight out if that we do go to war in the semester, the syllabus goes straight out the window, man, and we cover what's happening. I would love nothing more than that, seriously.

Hey, anyone know how you go about auditing a class? Seriously. No credit, just going to go. I would so do that.

So, yes, loved that class, and will keep going to it until I get in or there's no chance of it. Which means I also have to keep going to the film class, just in case. Which means more 10 hour days. EEEEK.

'Cause next was jazz dance. And for those playing along, yes, I went straight from 8-6:30 with only two half hour breaks. Wheeee. This class was scary, man. I'm not an overly touchy-feely person. I hug and cuddle my brother alot, and there are friends I don't mind hugging or cuddling with. Like, it took years, but Carol, my mini-me, is now allowed to drape herself over me and it doesn't faze me. Or this girl at work who has this thing about touching - I've never had my hair played with, arms or waist touched or ass smacked so much in my life. But that's what she does, and surprisingly enough, I don't mind. (Well, I minded the hair thing today. When I was, um, crawling on the ground nearly underneath her, looking for a customer's packet. I may have been asking for it, however.)

So, anyway, yeah. Those are my exceptions, as much as I may want to be, I am not touchy-feely. Today, the teacher announced that she found that non-major dancers had problems touching themselves and others. Yes, I can see that. I do. I, however, don't think of that as a bad thing. <.g> Neither does my friend Meg, who is also in that class. Thank God we were paired together, because the entire class today was contact dancing. First we had to touch ourselves all over. Then we were partnered up, and had to do this weird thing where we always had to be in contact. Then the instructor kept talking about the sexualness of the touching, and it was just weird. Then we had to walk, which I could do just fine, but then we had to walk and hold hands and link arms. And then we did these weird things where we rolled over each other, and man, she really overestimated the amount of things we'd do with complete strangers. If Meg hadn't been there, and I HAD been partnered with a total stranger? I don't know, man. LOL That's just too much for me, you know? Maybe I'm a freak, but it's worked so far. <.g>

Hmmm. This did get long. Sorry? I crawled home after 6, took a shower, watched Buffy and ate dinner, and now plan to go to sleep. At least I made it an hour later than last night. I taped the wedding special, but there's just no way I can stay awake! It'll have to wait until tomorrow.

I don't wanna goto work tomorrow. <.whimper> But I get to have my archaeology class tomorrow! ::thinks about bouncing:: ::can't move::

December 21, 2002

sob of relief

It's done. For better or worse, the semester is DONE.

Voice exam wasn't bad. I feel comfortable with my studying and with the exam.

Anatomy? Oh, my God. I studied, man. not a lot, I grant you, because I was so wrapped up in voice. But I knew my muscles. I knew a lot of stuff. I did not know so much on the exam. I mean, I didn't fail it. But I didn't get better than a C or D. It was horrifying in all ways. Nicole and Jill had the same problems I did. We even were confused on the same questions. I swear he pulled those out of NOWHERE. Some of it I remembered from last year and not this year! It was truly horrific.

But over. I never have to see him again. WHOOOOOOOOOOO!

Now I get to pack and go home tomorrow morning. ::bounce:: Very very exciting. Hopefully I'll be able to update. I'm only gonna be home for two weeks, 'cause I have to come back to the job from HELL, so I'm not bringing my computer home. <.sigh> I'm a-gonna miss it. But I'm going to do my best to sign on at least, and read.

Meanwhile, I'm so super excited about getting my very own nsync story on Christmas eve. Happiness! Much with the funness. <.g> I am seriously excited. Even though I think I know who my partner is, and if so, then she's going through some really really hard, bad times right now. And I asked for a happy story. So I feel bad - first that she's having such problems right now and second that me and my happy story are probably compounding her stress and unhappiness. : (

Oh, but I got my XF one, too. From Meredith, and it was simply fantastic. 'Tis the season for really cool gifts. <.g> I just hope mine are received as excitedly as I was to get mine, ya know?

December 19, 2002


UGH. No one's on! People, I need to be talking to people! Seriously. This happened last year, too - I got so freaked out by Kuehn's exam that I worried myself into this awful, awful funk, and I've gone and done it again.

You'd think I'd learn.

But seriously. I've worked hard today on Voice. I read my notes. I understood my notes. Things connected and made sense in ways they hadn't all semester. So I'm convinced I'm lying to myself and that I don't get it at all, I just desperately want to and am therefore hallucinating, basically.

I'm pretty damn creative, apparently.

So now I worked myself all up, and it freaking SUCKS. Jennie's out getting her new car, MA left her AOL on but isn't there, Kate's out seeing a movie, and I'm watching Survivor because I have to tape it for mom. I need to settle down and relax myself, but I also need to study, and the two are mutually exclusive.

GAH! Someone, please, give me something to do. Something quick, yet productive.

December 14, 2002


I'm kinda bummed I didn't have time to make this journal all Christmassy this year. I think this is the first year. : ( But then I realized the design is red and green already, really. LOL So it fits. But I think after the new year, I may want to change designs. I've had this one for a LONG time. <.g>

I decorated last night - place looks spiffy! Just have the Christmas tree left. I feel like baking today. Know what I don't feel like doing? Yeah, studying. LOL I should at least do my IEP today though. Get that done, and I'm good.

So why aren't I going off to do it? LOL

December 13, 2002


I got up this morning at 9. By 10, I was in front of my computer, working on grad school stuff. By 4:30, everything was filed, paid for, and mailed out. I am officially applied to six grad schools!! They would be

SUNY Buffalo
Wisconsin at Madison
Penn State

Everything is now completely out of my hands! I am so excited. I don't have to worry about anything except them accepting me!!!

Tonight, I plan to veg out, have fun, decorate for Christmas. Tomorrow, I start studying. I have three finals, only two of which are scary. I am golden, yo. : )

December 06, 2002

'T worked!

Whooo! My first letter of recommendation is IN!!! And Jill mailed hers yesterday, so that'll be in!! All that's left is Dr. Kuehn! And I know he's super responsible and will totally get it in very soon. YAY!!

Meanwhile, stupid isn't loading "interpreting your GRE scores," so I have to go in tomorrow to the testing center and pick up a sheet to get percentages. GRRRR. But I have to return my video tomorrow anyway. It fits.

Also, typed up my statement and keep futzing with it. It's not bad. It sells me well. I hope. <.g> Things are going well, I believe. ::nods::

Still no word from Jon or Dave yet, but oh well. I have a clean(er) apartment, a letter of recommendation in and ready to go, and a date with my big fat greek wedding tonight. Life is good. <.g>

at least it's the same week

I really need to get back in the habit of posting here. I mean, it's my homepage, for heaven's sake! Whenever I open IE, up pops MT. That should be an easy way to post. Theme: I suck. <.g>

Today I need to finish my personal statement and send it off to be "beta read." <.g> Anyone wanna volunteer? I also need to compute my major GPA. And hey, what's a viable way of rounding? LOL If, for example, we have the number 3.76, can it be rounded to 3.8? I mean, they ask for it on a 4.0 scale, not 4.00, ya know? Just askin'. <.g>

Luke has seriously gone off the deep end here.

Jon never called back. <.pout> Oh, well. If they come, great. If not, gives me more time to do school work. Either way, I'm going to see My Big Fat Greek Wedding tonight. Wheeee! And I straightened up the apartment, which is always nice.

Hmmm, what else is going on? Not much, I don't think. I found out yesterday that Glenn Quinn, Doyle on Angel, died this week. Apparently from a drug overdose. I'm really quite sad about that - he was a fantasic actor who could have done so much. I always wanted to go to his club in LA. He seemed like such a cool guy, you know?

I'm kinda hungry now. I had a few spoonfuls of Lance ice cream for brunch, so it might be time to eat something. LOL

November 20, 2002


You know, I've put a lot of effort into my voice exam tomorrow. As much as possible? Probably not. 100% more than I do for any other exam? Probably so.

Point is. I'm working hard for this. I've worked hard all along. For the first quiz, I synthesized info. Didn't do well. For the second quiz, I created little story scenarios for disorders. I did better. This time, I'm reading the book, going over my notes from the first quiz, and reading my stories from the second. I'm doing a lot of work here. I feel I know information.

And yet. And yet I know I will look at those 40 questions tomorrow and cry. But I'm not even nervous. I'm just....resigned. I need to pass this class. I hope that I will. I think I'll pull it off. I've gone in to ask her for help, and she said she couldn't do anything for me. Thanks. So. I don't know. I'm gonna keep studying for a little while longer tonight. My only class tomorrow is the exam at 1, so I'll study all morning. And just hope for the best.

Please, please, let this have sunk in. Please?

November 11, 2002


How did it get to be 9?? GAHH! I'm still studying. I barely began studying! I don't know how to study. ::frowns:: She said there's a lot of interpretation stuff with case studies. I guess, once again, I'll just write and write and write all that I know. Worked last time, I got an A. But I've studied less this time. I think. Did I study last time? I think I did. Urgh. I know that there was a lot of guessing involved last time. <.g> Well. I'll just keep working at it.

Found a super cute story today. Sisters, a Buffy/Britney story. Yeah, yeah, you read that right. LOL It's sweet and amusing, and I adore it! I, like Anya, would be very enthusiastic to get such a video from Britney. <.giggle> Poor Xander.

Few more days until Harry Potter! I'm so excited. I heard this one is loads better than the first. Which isn't surprising, as the first book was mainly setting up the series. Hopefully Wood has a big role in this one. Okay, I'd settle for some really great scenes. 'Cause. Pretty! And legal, which is still very important to me. LOL He's what, 19 now? Good enough.

Probably should go study now. ::sigh:: Whoo.

sleepy day

Ya know, practically the whole country gets today off. Me? Three classes. Wheee! I so do not feel like going anywhere. It took me forever to fall asleep last night, and then I kept resetting my alarm this morning. Until 8:06 when mom called me to tell me to turn on NBC ASAP. Joey!!! Sweet, funny, flirty Joey judging on the Today Show. He's so cute! It was fun.

Wow, all the leaves are off my tree now. There was more than this yesterday! It's definitely fall. Even if our heat is off and all, because it was quite pleasant this weekend. <.g> But snow on Friday, which is exciting. Love snow. <.g>

Okay, enough rambling. Must drag myself to get ready for class. I think I'm skipping 375, though. Don't wanna go over the exam. LOL

October 30, 2002

feel like dancing...

Whoooo!!!! I drink from the keg of glory, friends. Bring me the finest muffins and bagels in the land. ; )

Three good things happened today.

1. I got my English paper back, and I got a B. Along with a full page, single spaced sheet of notes and comments. That basically boiled down to, I should have put my opnion in there. Aye aye, Roger, will do next time. ::salutes::

2. I got an e-mail from Dr. Kuehn today. He's writing me a letter of recommendation!!

3. I got an e-mail from Dr. Proctor today. She's writing me a letter of recommendation!!

I am beyond excited. So on Friday, I'll pick up Dr. Kuehn's instructional letter of what he wants, and register with the career center for Dr. Proctor. Then get everything all together over the weekend, and get it out to them on Monday.

::dances:: I may get into grad school, yet!!

October 26, 2002


4:33, and still in my pjs. <.g> I'll shower in a little while, get dressed for Meg's party. I only have one Halloween shirt, which I'm wearing on Thursday, so basically I'll just be in black, I guess. Orange scrunchy. Wish I had a costume. <.g> Dressing up would be fun, I think.

Reason behind the pjs is that I did grad school stuff all day. Nearly completed two applications (just need personal statements and GPA stuff), and sent two e-mails asking for letters of recommendation. I'll do the third tomorrow.

I'm trying really hard not to be freaked out. And I'm mostly succeeding, I think. I just totally feel like playing now. I'm all schooled out. But I need to write my personal statement, though. Lovely. Maybe I'll just do a drafty type thing, listing out what I want to say. And then really write it tomorrow.

Oh, and I need to read The Shining this weekend. Lovely. <.g>

I am SO COLD! And it's like 74 in my room. There's no need to be cold. But I am. Very. Grrrr.

October 23, 2002

Middle of the Ride

Okay. I'm exhausted, so this won't be long. I know I had something to post, but I forget what. Geez! I just opened the damn window.

Okay. Grad school terrifies me. Any college teachers out there want to give me a recommendation?

I just spent the last 4 hours or so planning out a schedule. I have 16 hours, although I may drop one class. They are:
Hollywood Musicals as Social Commentary, Severe Weather, Greek and Roman mythology, Tap dance (yes again), Politics and the Media, and Archaeology of Ancient Egypt. I sure do hope I get all those, as of right now, I have no substitutions. The drawback? I have two classes on MW at 8 and 10, and three on TT from 11:30-6, with tap being 4:30-6 so that's okay. But. Archaeology is the 8am class, and it ALSO meets on Fridays. At 8! ACK!!!! But at least I could go back to bed? Oh, and I have my clinic work, too, but that's scheduled around my classes, leaving MWF fairly wide open.

Yeah, I'm falling asleep. I had planned to talk about my cousin and what he said about my grandfather, but it'll be incoherant if I try now. More incoherant. He had points, I just don't agree with them.

Also, I'm very PMSy right now, and it's the bad kind. Where I cry at the drop of a hat. "I can't do this tap move!" Sniffle. "I didn't hear what page this diagram is on!" wipe eyes. "She spelled that wrong!" sob. It made things interesting today. Sometimes, I get the good kind where I'm all grrrr and change the world-y. Like when I get kicked off lists. <.g> I could have used that this time around. Conquer the grad school stuff. No, instead I want to burst into tears when people mention it. LOL This better go away soon.

Meanwhile, sleep. Before the sniper makes me cry.

October 15, 2002

English paper of DOOM

I really dislike my English class. I'm not sure why - I should enjoy it. But it tends to turn into a conversation between the professor and a handful of students. I can't even hear half of them. Also, the movies don't interest me much. So, I'm trying to drop it. I have an e-mail in to see if I can replace it with piano lessons for 2 credit hours, which would be far preferable at this point. But meanwhile, I still have to write the English paper of DOOM due Wednesday. Blech.

I also have an exam today. Eeeek! I'm nervous. I read the chapters, I read the notes, I read the review. I missed one day of notes, and she told us all that they'd be in the SPSHS library to copy. I went yesterday and no, they weren't. Nor are they online like she said. GRRRR. That drives me nuts. About as nuts as when instead of reviewing for ch. 10 like she was supposed to last week, she had to TEACH us ch. 10 because we hadn't gotten that far in class yet. Dude! Don't give us an exam on it yet, then! <.g>

Oh, for heavens sakes, how on EARTH can Sk8ter Boi be spanking new on MTV? It's been on TRL forever! I don't understand them sometimes.

Oh, hey, I bet Justin's single is out today. I wonder if it's worth buying...oh, found the track list. LILY, LILY instrumental and 2 LILY extended club mixes. Editorial review: The Most Popular N'sync Boy and Former Mouseketeer's First Single Comes from his Debut Solo Album "Justified". The Song was Premiered at the 2002 MTV Video Music Awards to Rapturous Applause. <.giggle> Rapturous Applause! Over Use Capitals Much? LOL I feel like I'm reading from the Victorian Era of Poetry Here. <.g> Anyway, hmmm. That's a lot of LILY. LOL Amazon only has the it not being released here? That's not very kind. I did find someone who offered to mail it to me for $3 for the CD and $5 S&H. That's a LOT cheaper than what Amazon is offering. But still...for four versions of LILY? We'll see. LOL

Okay, should shower and get ready to study. My room is nice and toasty, but I'm uncertain as to what the bathroom will be like. Kate and I figured out the heat in our bedrooms, but not in the bathroom. Or, I think, the living room. I forgot to check. But I don't freeze when I go to the kitchen, which is probably a good sign. LOL

edit: LOL! Just as I hit save, LILY came on MTV. I think Justin wants me to buy him. LOL There's something about this video, when it comes on, I cannot tear my eyes from the screen. <.g> "Follow the sexy leather-clad boy!"

Oh, dear, here's Dirrty. I just...Christina has such a strong voice. Why mask it with all this crap? Make people pay more attention to her body than her voice? Sure, it's a damn fine body, but so is Brit's. An ability to sing really well is what sets her apart, and she's not playing to that. <.g> Oh, well. It's her decision. And it's a slightly catchy song, although I could live without hearing it again. LOL

September 12, 2002

well, it's done

Well, took me just over two hours. They said four! Well, I didn't have a practice section, and I opted out of the research, which is I guess how. So. The story.

I got there early. Chatted with another girl taking it. Received a lovely text message from Jennie that made me smile. Went to sign in. Almost was unable to take the test, due to my State ID being expired. I swear I almost burst into tears on the spot. But she called ETS and they allowed me, which is practically unheard of. Thank God for my guardian angel, huh? {{HUGS}}

So, I took it. Now, anyone know how to score a GRE? LOL I have NO idea if my numbers are any good. Each section, though, is out of 800. So I got a 600 verbal, 580 quantitative and 580 analytic. Which is odd, as I had thought I totally bombed the verbal and did well in math. LOL But my advisor said 1000 was the minimum, and that's what Jill got, and all added up, mine equal 1760. Am I adding the wrong things? But even if I only added up two of them, any combination is still greater than 1000. So is that good? Am I deluding myself? Help!

I'm going to search out some grad school's GRE requirements, see what I find. I'll let you all know. <.g>

edit: Okay, so the verbal/quantitative should be at least 1000. Mine is 1180. So, that's not too bad, I guess. Actually, pretty comparable to my SAT scores. Which I've always disliked. Oops. So, okay, getting frustrated here. I don't like my scores, and I can't find a minimum GRE on any of the school sites where I want to apply. Damn it, I'm mad now.


Well, here it is. T-1.5 hours until the GRE. <.sigh> I'm eating brain food (tuna, pasta and applesauce), listening to brain music (or, well, I will be. First I wanna listen to the fun Xena song at the end of Lyre Lyre), and trying to relax.

I'm scared. But more in the resigned way of yesterday than the terror portion of last night. I don't know. I want to do well, everyone is telling me that I will do well. but I just can't believe it. I never really do, though.

I kinda wish I had did more with the program. But honestly, what I did do was pretty easy. I'm pretty sure I learned all of the tricks it offered, and all the practice bits did was make me feel like I didn't need to practice, as it was easy. Jill got a 1000, and said the practice hadn't seemed easy and the test was hard, and 1000 is an okay score for getting in, still. So that could be good. PLus, the software said that the math is easier than the SAT and the verbal harder, and that's my perfect combination.

So. Gonna leave at 8. Be there by 8:30. Check in. Start the test at 9. Be back for GH definitely, OLTL probably. Relax. Download Justin stuff. Possibly nap.

For now, I need to eat. Eating is good. I'm not used to this big a breakfast, though. LOL

Wish me luck!

September 03, 2002

bad me

I'm about to be a bad girl. <.g> I have an assignment due Friday. 375, the repeat offendor class. I'm on the tail end of a 50 hour work week. I barely have the ability to keep my eyes open to study for the GRE. In fact, I haven't so far.

So. Would anyone like to be my new best friend and find me three articles on the skeletal system? If I get them by Thursday night, I can do my little summaries and turn them in on Friday. <.g> is a good place to start. LOL


bad me

I'm about to be a bad girl. <.g> I have an assignment due Friday. 375, the repeat offendor class. I'm on the tail end of a 50 hour work week. I barely have the ability to keep my eyes open to study for the GRE. In fact, I haven't so far.

So. Would anyone like to be my new best friend and find me three articles on the skeletal system? If I get them by Thursday night, I can do my little summaries and turn them in on Friday. <.g> is a good place to start. LOL


May 10, 2002

finals day #3

I've been studying 376 all morning. I studied a fair amount last night. With what I studied, I feel comfortable and slightly confident. It's what he'll throw at me that I haven't come across in the text or notes that worries me. <.sigh> But it's almost over, and that's a Very Good Thing.

NBC was fantastic last night...Will and Grace was beautifully done, and Jack and Karen blew me away. ER made me cry. I was just sitting here, staring at the screen, tears rolling down my face. It was so sad and perfect and heartbreaking and all of that stuff. Just, yeah. Very well done, indeed. I'm going to miss him so much.

I have to pack today....ACK. LOL Gonna be pure hell. The plan is to get me home tomorrow afternoon, though, so Lead Awareness Day isn't a total bust. We're gonna get Mexican (I miss Queso Fundidos), make margaritas, and watch Mullholland Drive and MTV's Becoming nsync. <.giggle> My poor parents. They'll deal.

Man, I'm nervous about this exam. And everything else. It's all happening too fast...I wish tomorrow wasn't my birthday. Then I wouldn't have to move out so soon, I could spend all day tomorrow packing and stuff. <.sigh> Oh, well. I've done this every year so far, why should this one be different? Guess I'll clean up a bit now and review a little bit more.

May 07, 2002

finals day #2

Well, woke up this morning and the internet was down. <.g> So, I got a little bit more studying done. I'm sick of this class. LOL I love it, love the material, do not want to study anymore. <.g> But I did all morning before my interview. Which, I think, went okay. I mean, okay, no experience in retail. Or really much with adults. <.g> But I'm very willing to learn, very willing to work 40 hours a week for a month even after school starts, she was really interested in all my kidlet stories, and thought it was absolutely wonderful I wanted to go to NY for grad school, since that's where she's from. LOL She was really nice, and I think I managed to be personable and friendly. See, I TRY to be, but I'm so shy that I hate talking and never ever know what to say. But we talked a little about movies, and the fact that the store in College Station, TX's roof collapsed and the claims guy keeps calling her "little lady" and it's kind of annoying. LOL So, we'll see, I guess. She'll let me know by Thursday.

So, half an hour until I have to leave for the next final. I'm a little nervous, which is crazy, because it won't be too hard. But I'm frustrated because it's a 40 question exam, with 6 bonus points, and I need a 42 on it to get an A in the class. And so it's POSSIBLE, just not LIKELY. And that's really really annoying. LOL But I read the chapters (most of them, anyway LOL) which will help on those 8 questions, and and reviewed my notes (all freaking THREE DAYS of them) a few times. So, yes. I put a tiny bit of effort in, anyway. <.g>

May 06, 2002

productive day

Well, so far, doing good. Turned in my 376 paper, my 386 final, posted some sublet flyers around campus, and got a job interview set up tomorrow morning for Notes and Quotes next fall. ::nods:: All good stuff indeed.

So, today I must study for the Artic exam tomorrow. Kathryn said the study guide is long, but the study guide is all book stuff. There are 40 questions on the exam, and 8 comes from the book. <.g> So I figure I'll read the 3 chapters, reread my notes, do the definitions, and make sure I have a vague idea of the study questions. LOL It should be quite manageable, really.

May 03, 2002


I finished that damned EdPsych paper! And due to the the loveliness of Courrier New and headings, it's a full seven pages, only one page less than it should be! YAY!!! I'm thrilled! And, I really can't believe this, I'm actually 20 minutes ahead of schedule. I honestly didn't think I'd have time to research interal feedback, but I do! How neat!

Hey, guy from last night called of the ones who wants to sublet. Got his name and number this time, and I'm supposed to call him tomorrow when Sarah and Aarti are available for him and his friend to check out our rooms. And now this guy Jerry called and will also stop by tomorrow. I don't get why only guys are calling...I swear, I'm halfway to renting Kate's room for the summer so I can live with whatever guy gets my room. LOL This Jerry sounds really nice. <.g> Maybe I should call that camp lady after all. <.g>

So, yes. I've accomplished everything on my list besides 376, which was just on there to be on there. Maybe I'll start it later, maybe not. I really like this getting-stuff-done thing. <.g>

finals day #1

My first final today! I think we watch a movie and then discuss the teacher's style. I think that's a pretty cool final. <.g> Hopefully Kathryn and Aekyung still like me, as we got a B+ on the last exam, Kathryn wanted to revise it, and I just did not have time and told her so. So, yeah. Please let my exam group like me. LOL

Watching VH1 this morning....Lance finally made the ticker. "nysnc's Lance Bass is still determined to go to space, and I am still determined to send him there." LOL!! I loved that. Also like seeing Moby's "We are all made of stars" on VH1...I love the song, love Moby, and really like JC in the video. LOL He's so cute! My favorite part is his second shot, with the little smirk and crinkly eyes. <.g> Too cute.

Lauren, Meg and I met yesterday to do notes on our 386 exam. Man, Melissa does not care about this exam at all. LOL One of the questions is lifted directly from our of questions in it is to diagnose Julio. In the notes, Julio's paragraph is topped by a header of "SLI." Ta-da, diagnosed. LOL We discovered that after we had diagnosed him (correctly), but still, we cracked up. LOL So I finished 4/5 questions last night and will finish the last one momentarily. It's so easy, I'm terrified I'm missing the catch.

We had fun working together...Meg made brownies and Crystal Lite, and it was all good. But. Somehow, the discussion delved into weddings. See, Lauren has Gary and Meg has Joe. Now 9 months ago, literally, Lauren had no interest in dating after her experiences the year before (when she went through so many I couldn't keep up with names), she thought men were scum, she had no desire to get married and she definitely didn't want kids. Now, though, she'll accidentally say things like, "When Gary and I get married, IF! IF Gary and I get married!" and talking about future children. ::blinks:: And it's not, like, as sudden as I'm protraying it, except it kinda is. But I honestly think she and Gary will end up married. And so Meg pulled out her Cartier's book and they were discussing the engagement rings they want and how they've talked them over with their respective guys, and it's like, man. I have nothing to contribute. Sure, I know the ring I like and I remember a few sites from Krissy's wedding plans, but I'm missing the key element of GROOM that they already have. And man, does that suck. <.g> Feeling kind of left out! Anyone reading this a nice guy between the ages of, I don't know, 20 and 30? Live near Illinois? LOL Know a nice guy near IL between 20-30? LOL Not for a groom just yet, mind you, but a boyfriend would be appreciated. <.g>

Okay. So, plans for the day. Quickly finish question 5. Take a shower. Put together my EdPsych portfolio, fill out the ISES form for Dr. Zola, finish my EdPsych paper by adding in headings and citations, drop off my application at N&Q, and start to research internal feedback. That sounds like a lot, but most of it won't take more than 10 minutes each. Just the paper stuff is big, really. So, yes. Question five, ahoy.

May 02, 2002

reading day

Well, it's been a pretty productive day so far. Paid bills, filled out a job app, researched more 376, wrote another page, and set up an appointment with a guy named Aaron about subleting my room for the summer. God, please please please let Aaron work out. I need it to so badly.

And yeah, page 8 of my paper, and I still have a whole section left to research/write tonight and tomorrow, plus a conclusion and cites. I am so good to go. Very exciting!! And I'm meeting with the girls in a few hours to work on our other exam, which hopefully I can get done today and tomorrow as well. Or maybe tonight and Saturday, since I need to do cites in my EdPsych paper tomorrow, too.

Hmmm. I was so bouncy all morning, and getting stuff done, and now I'm just...blah. Sad, or nervous about something. No real reason for it, either. Maybe I just need a break. I'll finish typing about the McGurk Effect and read a story, maybe. It'll be nice to get out of the house and hang out at Meg's for awhile. I heard rumors about oreo cheesecake there. <.g> It'll probably kill me, as I had Rocky Road at Baskin Robbin's free scoop night last night, but damn, it's a good way to go. LOL

May 01, 2002


I have no more classes! Yay! Okay, sure, now I have to deal with finals, but no more classes. <.g> That's pretty neat. And it was a great class to end on, too..EdPsych. He had teachers come in who were really cool, and answered our questions and stuff. And he ended it by toasting us and saying he knew we'd all be great at what we ended up doing, which was really sweet of him. I loved that class.

So I found an nsync story yesterday...quite probably the only nonslash one I've ever read that wasn't written by a friend. <.g> It was super sweet...this woman drops off a 2 year old, Kyle, with Chris and says it's JC's son. Which it is. So it's about JC learning to be a parent (man, he sucked at first. I mean, REALLY sucked) and falling in love with Jessica, who's their wardrobe girl and takes care of Kyle all the time. So of course it's totally cliched and probably VERY Mary Sue-d (Lance's fiancee is named Amy. The author of the story is named Amy), but it's actually, for the most part, well-written. And I'm thinking Amy either did a hell of a lot of research, or spends time with 2 year olds. LOL She's off on a few speech things, making him a little too advanced, but she's mostly dead-on. Yes, this is what I've been reduced to. <.g> As I read Kyle's lines, I started analyzing his phonological processes, mentally counting his MLU, critiquing it when he said sounds he just could not produce at that age, appluading when she got them right, etc. My major is invading my brain. LOL But hey, it's practice for Tuesday's exam, I guess. <.g> "Why, yes, Joan, I did study! I read a 30 part story for SEVEN HOURS over two days and analyzed a 2 year old character's speech." <.groan>

Reading some summaries of Florida one of the soundchecks, they were asked who they most wanted to meet and JC said Stephen Hawking. I swear, I practically swooned. LOL Dude, he's like the most famous AAC-user. And sure, that's probably not why JC wants to meet him, but he wants to meet an AAC-user! <.g> As the sister of a kid who uses AAC and as one who plans to focus on AAC in speech therapy, I think that says a lot about him and just plain makes me excited. LOL Okay, yeah, I'm easy. Your point? <.g>

Okay, so all I have to do today is work on my 376 paper. I'm feeling highly unmotivated, but maybe I'll be moreso after I finally eat breakfast and my tummy stops complaining. <.g> Just a few pages left, nearing the end! Whooo! I'll be thrilled to have it done with.

April 30, 2002


You know, I really don't like writing letters. Especially to people I don't know well. Even for school assignments. I just, no. Can't do it. Everything sound so stupid and fake! So I tried to inject some of my bizarre humor and sarcasm. <.shrug> I guess all I can do is hope that it's what he wanted.

So, I've written my letter and done a bit of research. Given that it's nearly noon, perhaps it's time to take a shower. LOL

countdown to finals

I only have two days of classes left this semester. Hell, I only have two classes left! Dr. Kuehn is my new best friend...not only did he cancel class on Wednesday, he let us go way early on Monday AND extended the deadline for the paper until MONDAY! WHOOO! There was much squealing in class yesterday, let me tell you. So I wrote one page yesterday, I'll write one today, and finish it all up tomorrow, since my only class is over at 11. <.happy sigh>

WHOOOO! Miggie has left evil tripod and has a new home! Go visit! : )

Speaking of homes, Alicia, Glace, and Susie are back from their nsync adventure! I can't wait for more details!! Not to mention pictures. <.g> Share the love, guys. <.g>

I had another bizarre dream last night. <.g> Two nights in a row that I remember, very odd. LOL Anyway, this time my mom and I were at the hospital for some picnic thing, like the ones we would go to for the Heart Institute with Josh every summer. But we kept running into Lance wheeling around this older man and they were singing a lot. They went up and down in the elevator like five times, while we waited for them to get off on the first floor so we could ride down in an empty car. Eventually we just took the stairs. LOL Then in the parking lot, we ran into Rosie O'Donnell and her family, and (yes, yes, I know) Kathie Lee Gifford who was complaining about something or other. <.giggle> It was a fun one again, at least. <.g>

Okay. Last night I made a schedule for the next two weeks, and accordng to it, I need to write one more page of 376 and write a letter to my writing teacher about why I should get an A in his class. Sounds pretty manageable...I only have the one class at 3 today, so I have plenty of time. Yay!

April 11, 2002

busy day

Wow, I can't believe I didn't write anything at all yesterday. That's very unlike me. I guess I was too busy procrastinating. LOL I swear, I read almost all of Rhys's stories yesterday, including two I hadn't before (Chris/Trevor, which rocked so much, and Chris/Nick, which was sweet and good). I wrote most of my paper, though...even the conclusion. LOL All that's left is my project, so I'll finish it tomorrow. Starting 376 on Saturday instead of Friday won't kill me.

So, has anyone ever heard of the song To the Teeth, by Ani DiFranco? One project for EdPsych is partnering up with someone to do a "soundtrack to education" where you pick a song and ask the class questions on how it relates to teaching and education. I honestly thought that we were going next week. But Lauren says no, it's this week. And she didn't like my (admittedly spur of the moment) idea to use India.Arie's Video, and talk about the media's impact on student's self-esteem and self-image and how that can affect their school experiences. So she chose the above Ani song. I'm still at a loss as to how it connects. <.sigh> I'm hoping I'm right and we're going next week. She told me she'd do the questions and I'd just pass out lyrics. Eeeek.

Okay. So this morning, I need to see if I can call Lauren and get an idea of her questions. (The lyrics are all printed out.) Then I have to do my questions for the class, because I always procrastinate those until the morning of. Then I go to class, mail Miggie's package, come back and try to write my paper, give up and comment on today's stories for writing class, go to class and wish I was watching Rosie, come back from class and actually watch Rosie, and hopefully write more paper. <.g> That really doesn't sound too bad.

Wow, it's gone up ten degrees in the 2 hours I've been up!! It's now 58, still going up to about 71. Whooo! I'm in my Mickey bowling shirt and denim capris in celebration. <.g>

April 09, 2002


Yup. Having the same kind of day as yesterday. Haven't written a thing. Need to. Soon. Now, really. Why can't I stay focused? I have no real excuse. I don't feel great, but I feel so much better than yesterday, and I should really do something. Something that's not reading old Rhys stories. <.g>

Okay. I'm going to explain my damn project if it's the last thing I do.

April 08, 2002


Dude, don't know HOW I did it, but somehow, I'm on page four here. Barely, but still. That's so exciting! I don't feel like such a failure for not following my schedule! I mean, I didn't follow it, obviously, but work still got done!

Let's not do this again tomorrow.


Okay, I got my morning all planned out. LOL I'm already up from 7:15, watching "Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered," a Buffy ep I haven't seen all of in ages. Wheee! Now I'm going to work on my old EdPsych exam and e-mail Kathryn. Then shower, eat, and water my hydrangea. (Which I may have to bring upstairs somewhere so I remember to do so. LOL I get one every Easter because it's my favorite flower.) Then I write my paper from 9-12, eat lunch, go to class from 1-6, and then have the exam from 7-9.

Gonna be SUCH a fun day, I can tell. LOL

April 03, 2002


Went to register at 9am. Got to the lab. Closed. Stupid attendent who should have been there, wasn't. <.sigh> He got there around 9:15, I started to register. Jazz...closed. Public Policy...restricted. Dude, I DID the prerequisite! Ugh. So I'm in beginning tap and American War Movies. But I plan to try and get into the Jazz, at least. If I can't get in this summer or whenever, I'll try and go the first day and see if I can get in that way.

Came back, packed my clothes for the concerts and weekend, reviewed a little bit with Aarti. Went to take the test, felt overwhelming sense of despair. Yeah, it went THAT well. I almost cried at the first 30, rejoiced in the next 25, and sighed over the last 30. But I did the best I could...narrowed down my choices, went with my gut reaction, and didn't go back to change a thing. Hopefully, I pulled off a D. I'm not optimistic.

So, I'm all packed now. Hopefully I'm not forgetting anything...most important things (tickets, money, MI research) are definitely there, so that's what counts. Got one camera ready for the concert (Erin's bringing hers), and waiting to hear if I got a second one so E can actually have her own. <.g> I'm kinda getting more excited as it gets closer, but I probably won't get very excited until I see Erin. <.g>

Pretty much just hanging out until it's time to go to the trainstation. Still kinda bored. Anyone wanna chat? Please? LOL

Hey, my squirrel buddies are back. Wonder if I'll get another squirrel menage a trois for the road.

March 28, 2002

growing up and classes

Oh, man. LOL Current poll on g-w is who do you find sexier, Rupert (Ron) or Sean (Oliver) from the HP movie. My dear, sweet little Carol, whom I have known since she was about 2 months old, said Sean. As well as, "Does the name Biggerstaff seem dirty to anyone else here?" ACK! LOL I mean, of course it does. And his character's name is Wood. Yeah, plenty of thoughts going there. But she's my baby! She's not supposed to be thinking that way. LOL

Still didn't do more than 2 pages, but I started the next section and found class options for my last class next sem. I think I might take a one hour dance class, either Modern or Jazz, to get some excercise in my life. Other than that, I've narrowed the last class down to an English class on American war films, Intro to Public Policy, and Acting. Okay, and maybe the intermediate version of the writing class I'm in now. But I'm really torn by the first three. Less on the acting, but I really think I need to try and break a little out of my shyness and what better way than to become someone else and be in front of big crowds? <.g> It's the sledgehammer approach. It might even be fun. I think the war films sounds absolutely fascinating, but really, my heart is leading me to public policy. But acting! And movies! I adored my film class freshman year. And I loved my drama class the following semester. But that could also be because of Dan, my TA both sems. <.g> Well, and I got to write about Mary Pickford and stuff, which I couldn't in war films. But war films! What fun! But public policy. The very words just thrill me. Public policy. It just rolls off the tongue. Beautiful phrase. I need to pick one to be my first choice to type in. Which means that I have to really want it in case I get in, but know that my luck, I won't get in after all the deciding. LOL

I need sleep. I'm getting goofy here. Damn, I wish I had written more.

March 26, 2002

Heaven bless Lauren

I love Lauren. LOL I found four articles today, but only abstracts, so I was going to have to go to the library Friday and find full text. She did a search, and found me five full texts! Whoo! So I'm all set for that and can quickly write up page long summaries on Friday, and be done with it. Which would be lovely.

Okay, need to research feedback and write MI rough draft. That's what I need to get done by Friday. ::nods:: I can do that. I hope.


Oh, for the freaking love of God. I was going to get up early today. I was going to wake up at 7:30 and get my work done. I wanted to research feedback, find 4 articles for 386, and print my story and maybe run it over some place to be copied. I went to bed at a fairly decent hour last night...very close to midnight. But I guess I was more tired than I thought, because when I went to reset my alarm from the 9am it was for yesterday, I apparently TURNED OFF THE ALARM. AHHHH!!!! I woke up at 10:30 thinking it was rather bright out. EEEEK. I am so mad....I have never done that before. Ever! Thank God it's a Tuesday when I don't have class until 3.

So I have 3.5 hours to do all this, plus take a shower and eat. Wish me luck.

March 18, 2002

muliple intelligences

I finally was able to upload my multiple intelligences test! If you would like to take it, just e-mail me your answers by Sunday. There's a short part, 3 questions, we need to do in real time (IM, phone, etc) but it only takes a few minutes. (Ask Kate, she's done this already. LOL) It's about 45 questions designed to show me what your strength according to Gardner's MI theory is, and how it correlates to your school/job situation. I'm not sure how reliable or valid it is, but it will help greatly with my paper. : )

Anyway, the test is at this page, and shouldn't take any longer than an hour. If you have questions, let me know. This test is open to everyone...if you don't want to use your real name, that's fine, but i do need an IM name or phone number or some such thing.

I think that covers everything...I hope at least some of you guys will do this. : )

March 11, 2002


I think the test went very well. I sped right through it, got a little tangled in the matching section (it's hard when there's 28 things...I much prefer little sections than one big one), but it ultimately went well. There was only 6 questions I was unsure of, 4 in the matching alone, out of about 90. So I'm happy.

I also got my application and resume off for Camp Chatterbox. I still can't believe I'm going to intern there. I will be the only undergrad *ever. It's for professionals only. The application said to send in the fee (yes, not only do I not get paid for this experience, I have to pay them LOL) when I was accepted, so I called my mom. This just seems SO presumtuous to me, but I sent in my check with the application, because Joan was clear that she was holding the position open for me. Quite scary. I'm pretty nervous about this whole experience. It's such a cool thing, but I can't help feeling that I'm getting in over my head here. Okay, yes, I have 10 years of experience with DynaVox, which is pretty much how long high tech AAC has been around for the masses, but I have *very limited experience with other devices. Pretty much only what I've seen and tried out for brief minutes at conferences. Although I'm really kinda interested in learning about's this totally scary looking system of picture categories. And different picture combinations mean different things. Like, a picture of Shakespeare means books. And a picture of a rainbow are the colors. But you can use, like, religion+shakespeare+john hancock+lightning bolt and it'll say the name of a specific Bible story or something. So it's really complex. <.g> Here's a picture of the device with unity up: Pathfinder. (Just to be fair, and since I do so much work for DynaVox and just spent all this time linking to PRC, this is the device my brother uses: DynaMyte. He doesn't use pictures, though, he uses a touch screen keyboard setup with Gateway to type his communication.) This really turned into a whole AAC post, didn't it. LOL Ooops. Well, now you know a little bit about what I do. <.g>

Ick, not feeling so great. I think it's my period, I'm just feeling off. A little sick, a little dizzy, a little tired, a little achey, a little scratchy, a little everything not good. <.g> So maybe I'll just relax tonight. I don't have anything more due this week, so I can get a headstart on things tomorrow morning and be fine.

yay me!

I completely finished my review sheet! Only took 2 hours, with time to check my mail and visit various websites. <.g> I'm feeling pretty good about it. I know this stuff. It makes sense to me. I'm a geek who likes to score MLUs. I relate everything to Josh, and therefore remember everything. Let's hope this test agrees with me. <.g>

I was listening to The Winter Album for awhile...JC singing lead on Drive Myself Crazy is growing on me, but they made the best decision to go with Chris. <.g> But now I have in Joshua Redman, which I finally got back from mom and Josh. Happy jazz! Wheeee!

Kate showed me a Yahoo article that captioned a Justin/Brit pic as Britney with then-boyfriend Justin. Apparently a tabloid reported yesterday that they split. We'll see, I guess. Concert goers reported that the boys have their own buses on this tour (sadness! I loved the slashy aspect of sharing. <.pout>), and Brit was traveling with Justin, at least after the first concert. So who knows. (Not sure WHY I felt the need to comment on this, but I did. I don't particularly like Justin or Britney, but I still somehow think it would be sad if they broke up. Maybe I'm just a sap that way. LOL)

I forgot to mention what I bought at the candy store over the weekend....a giant pixie stick!! <.giggle> This thing is huge. Like a foot long. LOL Should do nicely to keep me awake during Kuehn's class!


Okay. I have a midterm on Language Disorders in Children at 3pm today. I have not yet begun to study. This could ultimately present a problem. <.g> Maybe not. I mean, it was all common sense when she gave us the information, and I knew a bunch anyway. Looking over the review sheet, I definitely knew half, and was pretty sure on about 60-70%. And it's all multiple choice and true false and matching, to boot. So I don't think it will be an impossible test. But it's still all I'm doing this morning. LOL I'll start to worry about everything else tomorrow. Today is studying. And doing my Chatterbox application. ::nods:: This is doable. So I better start doing it.

March 05, 2002


Well, I survived another workshop. <.g> Nghi said that I had this deer-trapped-in-the-headlights look the entire time, but I thought they were all pretty nice. LOL Goodness, I don't want to think about what I'd look like if they were being very critical. LOL! But yeah...almost everyone loved it. My teacher really seemed to like it...last time, he said good things in class (he compared it to "Eleanor Rigby," for example) and wrote almost nothing on the story, leading me to believe he didn't really like it all that much. This time he commented the whole way through, said good things in class, and wants me to continue the story as a novel. <.g> I was excited. So the comments I got were really helpful, and only one person actively disliked it. The other part of "almost everyone" just didn't make any comments at all, so who know what they thought. <.g>

Okay, now I should be doing my 386 review questions, but I so don't feel like it. LOL I'll do it tomorrow.


Whoo! I came up with 40 questions for my mini-research project on multiple intelligences. I'm really excited. I should have the test ready to go in a few days, maybe next week...who wants to volunteer to be tested? The test shouldn't take long at all...maybe 20 minutes or so. It'll (hopefully - I'm no scientist here!) show what of the intelligences is your strength or strengths. BTW, just so you know, there are a few of you guys reading this who have no choice about volunteering. <.g> I think you know who you are. LOL

All of this has mostly kept my mind off the fact that we're workshopping my story in class this afternoon. AACCKK!!!! I'm so nervous. <.sigh> I mean, sure, the class is usually pretty gentle, but still. I like my story, but it wasn't quite there yet, and I wish it was. Ugh. But it'll be over soon, right? I hope so.

February 25, 2002


Writing this quickly, as I'm leaving in about 10 minutes for my exam.

I got my 376 exam back...I got a C! It would have been a B, but I always go back when I finish to check my answers, and I changed 8 of them from the right answer to the wrong answer. I really need to trust myself more. That's pretty damn frustrating.

It snowed! All the trees have a little bit of white on them, which I love. Like bright little accents. <.g> So pretty. But it's slushy, and I need to walk to my exam and then walk back, like, 10 minutes later to take the damn thing. LOL There's four of us in the group, and we'll work on it here, then upload it and send Eric the URL. We haven't talked about it at all, or even really thought about what we're going to say (not that we have the question yet, really), so I hope it goes well. LOL

386 today SUCKED. Our teacher is still out, her dad had a heart attack, and the teacher taking over is NOT sticking to the syllabus. Today was supposed to be AAC day, damn it, and we did narratives, which we did last week with her, too! She's moving too slowly...we only meet once a week. I think she said that next week we're doing some kind of language, which I can only hope is AAC, but next week is supposed to be intervention! And then the midterm is the week after! I feel so bad for Melissa, and I honestly hope she's okay, but this replacement is screwing us over. : (

Okay, best go now. Let's hope this exam is okay...

February 20, 2002


I didn't do a lot of studying last night. I went over my review sheet, and made sure I memorized all of the volumes and capacities and their numbers, and every instrument she mentioned, and that was about it. I ended up going to bed around 10:30, even if it took me a longer time to fall asleep. So I slept with my notes under my pillow and hoped for osmosis do to it's job. <.giggle> I'll do more reviewing after EdPsych this morning, and then I'll take the damn thing and it'll be OVER!!! WHOOOOO!!!!!! LOL

Meanwhile, the weather channel is telling me it's already over 50. Lovely!! I'll wear a happy shirt, walk in the lovely temperatures, and be happy that it's only 5.5 hours until I will be completely done with this stupid exam. : )

February 19, 2002


<.sigh> How could I have spent so much time studying and learned nothing? Really, I want to know. I just did the review sheet and there was much I had to look up. Okay, I guess there was stuff that I knew, too. And a lot where I was clueless until I looked it up and then realized I did have an idea of what it was. Thank God for multiple choice, I guess. But I'm really nervous, to the point of feeling sick. I want to do well, so badly, and I honestly don't know if I will. Not a good feeling. : ( I feel like I'm going to do poorly, and I'm getting really disheartened about the whole thing. <.sigh>

February 07, 2002

I survived!

Well, got through my first workshop, and I'm still alive. <.g> A lot of people really liked it, and a number of people actually got it. Which is a plus. LOL I loved a lot of the comments people left me. Oddly, I think my professor wrote the least. I think he liked it the least, too. Which I don't think is a very good thing. <.g> They took about twenty minutes to discuss it, but it was kinda drawn out. In the first story, it was lots of overlapping discussion, with mine there were lots of pauses between people talking. <.g> Kinda nerve wracking. And at one point, Ryan was like, "Well, in her defense..." I was like ACK! I didn't think I needed defending! <.g> But it was kinda cool that whenever someone would say they didn't understand something or it wasn't clear, someone else would raise their hand and correctly explain what I had intended. At the end, he asks if the author had anything to add, and no author ever has, and he never pushed it. I didn't either. But he started asking me questions, which I could luckily answer. LOL But yeah...I really enjoyed reading what people had to say about this. Some people wanted more, a few wanted less, and some thought it was good as it was. Pretty damn cool.

Now I need to write another one. EEEEEK!!!!!! LOL I'm thinking historical fiction, Eleanor Dare deciding to go with her father and their congregation to the New World, despite being 6 or 7 months pregnant. I mean, there had to be a really, really big reason as to why she and her husband would leave their country to travel to a completely new place, a dangerous place with a dangerous voyage, heavily pregnant. I'd like to explore that. I think. <.g> Any other ideas? I'll glady consider them.

class work

Grrrr. I do not want to do this week's linkage for EdPsych. These are nosy questions! I would love to talk about Erikson and Kohlberg's theories of development, but why do I need to talk about my own personal quest for identity and personal dilemmas? That's none of his business! <.sigh> Maybe if I babble enough about the definitions and how they can be applied, he won't notice that I'm not giving him my personal information.

On TRL yesterday, they had Lance's top ten videos, like they did with JC a few months ago. I wasn't paying quite a lot of attention, unfortunately, but I did notice that I liked some of the songs he said...Smells Like Teen Spirit, Alive by POD, a Madonna song, and I thought there was a least one more that I knew, at least. LOL Oh, Britney's Slave 4 U. It was an interesting mix. <.g>

Seriously not wanting to do this damn assignment. I just want today to be OVER. I wanna watch Friends and ER and try to forget about my stupid story.

February 03, 2002


I finished all the story stuff! Yay! I think I got some good comments in there. I'm amazingly sleepy again. Maybe I'll go to bed early. Then I can find my two articles tomorrow morning, and be ready for all my classes through Thursday. Pretty neat. <.g>

Watching GWTW now...I really don't like Ashley much. And Melanie's a dear, but so damn perfect. I still love Scarlett, though, misguided bitchy fool that she is. <.g> At least she has personality, and motivation, and all of those important things.

Maybe I should consider dinner at some point. <.g> I hear voices, so I know people are over. Wonder who? LOL


Five hours. Five hours to read 166 pages of book chapters and articles for 386. My mind is numb. LOL But now I just have to mark up the three stories. I could start finding articles if I want to be very productive, but Gone with the Wind starts at 5, and I wanna watch. <.g>

This weekend has just dragged by. I wish all weekends felt this long. LOL

January 31, 2002

To Do List

Okay. This is what I need to get done in the next week.

*Find two articles on multiple intelligences
*Finish my story
*Read and annotate 3 stories, with a letter to the author
*Find a song relating to an English class or speech therapy
*Do 386 tests with Lauren
*Research doctors for my grandfather
*Pick a topic for my 376 paper

More to be added as I remember.
Time to get to work.

January 30, 2002


Class was SO MUCH FUN today!!! LOL We talked about Piaget and his theories. More than that, we talked TO Piaget (who died in 1980 ;)) about his theories. LOL My professor came in with crazy white hair and a beret. <.g> It was so funny. Then, he brought in three kids, one at a time. A five year old, a 7 year old, and a 10 year old. They were so cute! The 7 year old boy was so of the experiments was putting raisins in a glass of ginger ale. The professor asked him what he thought the raisins would do, and the boy clearly had no idea. He looked around, saw the cup with the raisins that the five year old had done, pointed and said, "Exactly what's happening in that cup." LOL! It was so cute. I really love that class.

Meanwhile, it's still raining, and will continue to rain until it snows on Friday. I'm never going to be dry again. LOL